Friday, February 26, 2010

So Really...Are We Crazy? Why 2!?!?

Two? Really? So you'll have FIVE kids then? Are you crazy?

Whew. Breathe. Yes...really 2. And crazy? Maybe. : )

So here's the story at how we arrived at 2...

Anytime we ever talked about an interracial adoption, I would tell Hubby that I thought it would be cool if we adopted 2 so they wouldn't feel as singled out. And he would say to me, "Are you nuts? That's five kids!"

So these last few weeks as we've been feeling God leading us very specifically to Congo, he's the one who has been saying to me that he felt like God was leading him to two children instead of just one. And now that it was becoming a reality and not just something to dream about for the future, I was the one who wasn't so sure.

Five kids - three of whom would be 2 and under? How would I do my grocery shopping? Travel? Eat out? Watch all of their soccer games? Give my best to our homeschool? Will people still want to get together with us to hang out? I mean, there will be seven of us. That's a lot of people and a lot of mouths to feed. Will we ever have a moment of quiet again? Ever? Will we have enough money left over after we pay for this adoption and feed and clothe seven people for fun things? What will we drive? (We can't fit five car seats in our minivan.) And the questions and worries go on and on...

But here's the thing...All the reasons I had for not adopting two were purely selfish. I want to be comfortable. My flesh cries out that it should be about me. But it's so not. And in my heart, I don't want it to be.

God just slowly and graciously showed me that being a Christian isn't about being comfortable. It's about taking up my cross and following Him. And that's not something that is easy to do.

First, He showed me through scripture. Colossians 3:1-2 totally grabbed my attention one day while I was busy planning our vacations for the year. It says, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." It just dawned on me that while I'm worried about all of the things of the world, there are babies dying because there's no one to help.

He spoke to me through prayer, and as I slowly gave Him my fears and my worries, I felt Him telling me to just trust Him. "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

He even used some blogs to speak to me. Go figure! : ) I think the most powerful one and the one that resonated most to me was this one here. There's another amazing blog called the Journey which chronicles the life of a 21 year-old could be college co-ed who instead has devoted her life to following God, wherever He may lead. He happened to take her to Uganda. She has adopted 14 beautiful girls. Yes, 14. By herself. And did you catch that she's 21? Reading her blog definitely challenged me to look at my life and wonder if I'm living it for myself or for Him.

Now please don't read me wrong. I'm not saying that we all have to move overseas like this girl did. And I'm not saying that everyone should adopt two kids from Congo. These kind of decisions are responses to God's specific leading and take some serious prayer and consideration. I'm simply saying that God has really been teaching me a lot about what it means to really follow Christ. If we want to follow Him with all that we are and we're truly seeking His will, He's going to call us to things that are beyond ourselves. I mean, if we're only living life doing things we can accomplish on our own then we don't really need Him, do we?

We're feeling stretched here. If I told you otherwise, I'd be lying. But it's a good stretch. It's a stretch to get us beyond ourselves. Beyond focusing on the things of this world, and instead seeing things and people the way God sees them.

Is there something God is calling you to and you're scared because it will stretch you unlike anything else? Don't just say no. Seek Him. Cry out to Him. Trust Him.

You see, it will be a little crazy around here. This adoption will cost a lot of money. We will need a new vehicle. It will be harder to go on vacations and out to dinner. My days will be more hectic. And loud. But those are all earthly concerns. When we choose not to focus on those and instead focus on heavenly concerns, all we see are children who are hungry, and sick, and lonely. Children who need a forever family. Children who need to know there is a God who made them, knows them, loves them, and sent His son to die for them to save them.
And how can we put our own comfort above that? We can't. We choose not to.

So are we crazy? Maybe a little. : ) Crazy for God. Crazy about following Him.

1 comment:

Stori said...

I am really enjoying reading your blog. We had all the same questions. And I felt we were crazy at times too! But choosing LOVE over FEAR is such a beautiful thing.