Monday, August 16, 2010

Waiting

I've been reading in the Psalms a lot lately. Do you know how much they talk about waiting!?! There is definitely some great purpose God has for waiting, but can I just say that from a human standpoint WAITING STINKS!!!!!

O.K. Deep breath. Try to be patient.

When we started this process we had to sign all these papers that said that we understood this process could hit many bumps and delays and could take up to 2 years to complete. But the optimist in me was thinking, "No way. Our kiddos will be home so much faster than that. We just follow these clearly laid out steps and while delays can definitely happen, they surely won't happen to us."

Oh, silly me.

I have to keep telling myself that in the scheme of things, especially in the adoption world, this is still moving relatively quickly. We just signed on in February for Pete's sake! Our dear friends just returned home from China with their daughter and they waited four years for her!

The problem is that when you're stuck in one spot, it just feels like you're going to be there forever. And the not knowing is so hard. If God could just speak to me and tell me, "Missy, don't fret. B & L will be home later than you'd hoped...they'll be ready for you on such and such date, but please trust me on the timing. I needed to do it this way so that X, Y, and Z could happen..." that could just make it so much easier. But faith just doesn't work that way.

So we wait. And we trust that God is in control and B & L will be home in His perfect timing.

We're still waiting for L's adoption decree. Poor little girl has had a delay at every single step in the process. We've been waiting at this particular step for over 11 weeks now. B's adoption decree took 6 1/2 weeks to get and hers has been expedited to try to catch up to his process. We're just praying for news soon!

I've been reading a really cool book lately that was given to me by a friend. It's called Reckless Faith. The author tells amazing stories of how God moves in their orphan ministry in Mexico. It's so very inspiring. Some of the stories I've read lately make me feel like maybe I put God in a box. My prayers for L's adoption process usually go something like this...

"God, we so long to have B & L home with us in their family where they belong. Will you please help L's paperwork process smoothly and quickly? Help us wait for your perfect timing, though. We trust you."

And I just wonder if I shouldn't be praying more along these lines...

"God, YOU are the Amazing One who moves mountains, turns water into wine, and works miracles! God, move mightily in a way that we know without a shadow of a doubt that it's you! Do something bigger than we could even ask or imagine! B & L are yours and you love them more than we do! We know you can do anything! God, we're just excited to see how you will move and will give you all the praise!!"

But even when I do ask for a miracle, I still pray...

"But Lord, even if you don't work in a big, unmistakable way, we still know that it is you working faithfully and deliberately to bring B & L home. We trust you no matter what."

I'm just waiting now to see how He answers my cries to Him. I know He will. And while it may not be the way I want Him to or in my time frame, I know His way is always best.

4 comments:

Shawny said...

I hope you get the adoption decree soon! Waiting is so tough!!

Heather said...

Missy - What you wrote is EXACTLY how I've been feeling lately. Thank you for writing this - especially the prayer. So timely for me.

Raegan said...

It's like you climbed into my head and heart and wrote exactly how I have been feeling! Such a daily (sometimes hourly or minute by minute) struggle of trusting the Lord. Praying for you and anxiously waiting to rejoice with you!

wiggins said...

It's a hard prayer to pray, isn't it? It feels that by surrendering, I'm losing some control. That's such wrong-thinking b/c I have no control to begin with. I have to acknowledge that and trust the One who controls. I love what this adoption has done for my faith! Here's a quote I read this week that really resonated with me this week.

"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." ~ C.S. Lewis