finding bright spots

Looking Back: One Year Ago (Not) Today–Heading Home!!!

2011-11-08T21:39:00.001-05:00

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Packing up and leaving the guest house, I had a swirl of emotions. The overwhelming one being, of course, sheer excitement of going HOME WITH OUR BABIES!!!! At the same time, I knew I wouldn’t likely return anytime soon, and so I just wanted to memorize everything I saw. Have I mentioned that I hate it that I couldn’t take pictures in public???

We arrived at the airport, and were a little uncertain about what we were to do. We knew Bob would be meeting us, but last time we saw him (when we arrived here over three weeks ago), he was in a DGM uniform. So today, when a plain clothed man came up, it took me a moment to realize that was actually Bob.

He remembered me from last time, as I was the one who tried to communicate with him…”tried” being the operative word, of course. He asked if I still had my dictionary and I told him I did. I fished around in my bag, found it, and showed it to him. He took it from me, stuck it in his pocket, and said, “Thank you. Next time I speak English.” Um, okay.

We gathered our things, and took off quickly for the airport entrance. I had Blake on my front in a baby carrier, a ginormous backpack on my back, and I was pulling my carry on suitcase. The airport parking lot wasn’t paved and I misjudged a “curb” I needed to step over. As though it were happening in slow motion, I caught my suitcase on something and lost my center of balance. With all that extra weight on my front and my back, I couldn’t stop myself and literally felt straight backwards. No bending at the knees or waist, just straight up and down one minute and flat on my back the next. Oh, I felt silly, of course, but didn’t realize until later that I did actually hurt myself. My ankle took a beating! Maybe that whole no pictures in public is a good thing. There is no record of my sheer gracefulness! :)

We were very early. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 1:50 and it was before 10:00 when we got to the airport. We said goodbye to James and Pastor Peter and Bob took us on in. No one was even there yet to check us in, so we just sat and waited. Shortly after 10, the airline workers arrived, and we soon realized that to get anything done, you have to be pushy! We went from first in line to about tenth, just because people pushed and shoved past us.

The check-in process was maddening. Try to imagine the most inefficient way to check a group of 8 adults and 7 children and you still can’t come close to how it actually happened. And in the midst of it all, the power kept going off! It was wild. We were getting closer and closer to the time our flight was to leave. It seriously took hours just for them to check us in and check our baggage. (This wasn’t even waiting in a line! This was simply them actually checking us in!) The sad thing is, is that it was all wrong. They hadn’t checked several of us in for anything beyond our first flight, and had our baggage all mixed around.

When they were all done with us, we had about 45 minutes until our flight. We had to head through immigration. They didn’t seem to happy to see us, but Bob saved the day! He quickly explained who we were, why we had black children with us, and the guy waved us through. We still had a check booth to pass through, and then a very intimidating man in a suit who inspected all of our documents very thoroughly. We had been told that this is where they could tell you there are problems and take you off to a side room and let you sit for a long time (probably looking for a bribe.) Thankfully, that didn’t happen, and we made it through just fine.

We went through some rather informal security checkpoints and then were told to sit in one large waiting room. Anyone who was waiting for any departing flight waited in this one room. It was wild to me that in a city of upwards of 8 – 10 million people, we all passed through one door, one man, and now one waiting room. A flight number is simply called when it’s your turn, and you make a mad dash to get on the little trams to take you to your flight. (Remember that they can be overbooked, so the first one on gets the seat. Thus, more pushing and shoving!)

We sat in the seats and waited for our flight. Of course, Blake decides this would be a good time for a blow out diaper. I’m still barely walking from falling in the parking lot, and we didn’t want to leave to try to find a bathroom and risk missing them calling our flight. Hubby began to change him right there. Of course it was a giant blow out. Of course they called our flight while Blake was naked. So what did we do? We took some diaper wipes, pushed the dirty diaper, dirty clothes, and icky used wipes onto the floor under our seat, threw a diaper on him, wrapped him in a blanket, and quickly headed out for our flight! I feel bad for the person who sat there next!

There was a much more, ahem, thorough ~~intimate touching session~~ security check before boarding the trams. Hubby was finished before me, and was standing there waiting when an officer told him repeatedly that he had a nice watch. Hubby just smiled and said thank you. I’m sure the hope was that hubby would give it to him, but nope.

We rode our tram to the plane and went to find our seat. Much to my surprise, there was a dude in my seat! I started panicking, remembering what they had told us about how the flights are overbooked. I looked at Hubby and said, “I am NOT getting off this plane!!!” I just started pointing and telling the gentleman that that was my seat. He kindly pulled out his boarding pass, and sure enough, it was also his seat. A very nice French man in the row in front of us got up and gave us his seat, and told us not to worry…we’d work it all out. He called the flight attendant and they began trying to find seats for everyone. Praise God, the flight wasn’t overbooked, just ticketed wrong, so there were seats for us. We were on our way home!!!!!!!

As the flight lifted off (about an hour late!), I remember looking out the window thinking that this is the last time for quite some time that Blake and Lauren will be on Congolese soil. It made me a little sad. I hope we can convey to them the wonderful things about their birth country.

They did great on the flights and didn’t fuss at all. We were a little concerned about what would happen in Ethiopia because our flight left Kinshasa so late and we were not checked in for the next leg of our trip. The flight attendant told us we’d just have to run when we got to Addis Ababa!

We landed in Ethiopia and I hobbled off the plane. I had to look hysterically odd. I could hardly walk, yet I was moving very quickly! I was a mama on a mission! It was difficult to figure out where to go since we didn’t know the proper gate or anything, but we found someone who could help us. He was wonderful! Oh, to be somewhere with good customer service again!!! He told us not to worry, that he was also the gate agent for our flight, and he’d make sure the plane wouldn’t leave until our group all got checked in. Thank you, Lord!!!!

After being in Kinshasa, the Addis Ababa airport almost felt like home. It was very modern, and had shops, restaurants, restrooms, and air conditioning! I know that when you venture away from the airport, the poverty is staggering, but this airport was night and day different from Kinshasa’s!

We made it on our flight just fine and were pleased to see that our ticketing agent not only made sure we got on the flight, but gave us each 3 seats in rows to ourselves! We had tons of room to stretch out and lay down with the babies. We were SO grateful!!!

We settled in for the flight over the pond. Only about 2o-some hours until we arrive home!!!!!

Looking Back: One Year Ago (Not) Today–Waiting For The Letter

2011-11-07T21:58:00.001-05:00

Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2010

We started our day at Ethiopian Airlines after the worst traffic we’ve seen yet. Yesterday it rained, which we’ve learned means that people just kind of shut down. They don’t go to work or get out much, so today everyone was out in full force! We arrived at Ethiopian Air and while yesterday there was one other person besides us when we got there, today there were probably ten other people and by the time we left there were probably 30 - 40 people in there! They saw us right away, though (we were commenting that people probably thought we were rude white people, not knowing what all we had been through yesterday!) After going round and round for quite some time, they gave us the exact same tickets they had issued us yesterday. We will have to add Blake and Lauren’s lap seats when we arrive at Dulles in the States. Fine. By. Us! Everything is easier to do in the States! (Hopefully those aren’t famous last words!!) : )

We got back to the guest house around 10:30 and Barb was lying on the couch with all of the cell phones. The wait was on for the phone call from Pastor Peter that he had our DGM letters! Well, we waited…and waited…and waited…

We somewhat reluctantly (at least on my part) worked some more on packing and got just about through with that. And then we waited and waited some more. Around 4:00, Barb called James and he told her that Pastor Peter had all but one letter and he was just waiting on that last one. I still wasn’t getting my hopes up, though. Who knows. It was just hearsay from Pastor Peter to James to Barb to us. It was really, really hard not hearing any updates all day. We were all getting a little frazzled. Poor Barb. She seemed the most nervous. She wouldn’t even eat dinner. It was our last dinner here and we were hoping to celebrate, but everyone was pretty quiet. A few of us hung out where the artist’s things are just to try to wait. One of the dads even did some doorman duty hoping to see Pastor Peter pull up with good news. It was to no avail.

A little before 7:00, Barb’s cell phone rang and it was Pastor Peter. He had all the letters!!!!! We were so excited!!! We started screaming and celebrating and Lauren and one of the other little girls both started crying. But we were just so happy!!!!!

Pastor Peter got here around 7:20. He looked exhausted. He had spent about 12 hours at DGM that day! I asked him if he was tired and he said, “Yes!” He gave us our letters, passports, and originals and then we made plans for in the morning to catch our scheduled flight. Barb asked him if we could leave at 7 and his eyes got big and he said in his broken English, “Seven? That’s very…morning!” : ) She explained that with the big group we’d just like to have a little more time. He agreed. And he says that he’ll stay with us in the airport. We’ll see. He hasn’t for any other group. We show up and Bob from DGM helps us through, only Bob knows no English. We’d love to have Pastor Peter with us, but we’ll have to see.

I feel excited, but at the same time I’m not really sure it has sunk in that we’re leaving tomorrow to go home with Blake and Lauren! This life here is just so very far removed from our life at home. I miss the big kids very much, though, and can’t wait to see them. I think they’ll probably look huge to me. They sound much older on the phone. Overall, it sounds like they’re doing really well. I think Sarah’s had the hardest time, but I’ve only been told of a few times where she’s cried about it. Overall, I think she’s done fine, too. It will just be so very amazing to be all together!!!!! Only about 45 more hours!!!!!! Thank you, God!!!!!!!

Looking Back: One Year Ago (Not) Today–To Go or Not To Go

2011-11-07T21:37:00.001-05:00

Monday, Nov. 1, 2010

(Just FYI, before you read this…in Congo, it’s not enough to purchase a plane ticket to get on a flight. Prior to your trip, you have to go in person to the airplane’s downtown office to confirm with them that you do, in fact, want the seat on their plane that you’ve already paid for. If you fail to do this, it’s highly likely your seat will not be available when you go for your flight. We’ve heard, as well, that even if you do this step, there is still a chance that your seat may not be available when you physically get on the plane. We’ve been told that we just need to run like crazy and get on the plane first. Gulp. With that said…)

We decided to go to Ethiopian Air today. It was raining when we got up and our driver was late. When we left, though, there was no traffic and we got there around 8:20 (they open at 8:30.) There was a crowd of people outside, so we just stood outside with them, assuming they were waiting for Ethiopian Air to open. There was a security guard and he was asking me some questions. I finally understood enough French to get that he was asking if we were going on a trip with Ethiopian Air. I told him yes and asked if we wait here? (My very broken French went something like “Attendez? Ici? Maintenant?) We actually had a small conversation in French and he told us to follow him. He walked us right upstairs into the Ethiopian Air office and we were the first ones they helped that day!

We were anticipating being there all day, but thankfully it only took another dad, Barb, Hubby and I about 45 minutes to do everything we needed to do. Amazing! Nothing is efficient in Congo!! So now we’re all reserved…we just need to pray we get our DGM letters today or tomorrow!! We came back home and started packing up a little.

***

Well, it’s later tonight and today has been another rough one. When two other parents went to Ethiopian Air this afternoon to confirm/fix their flights, one of the dads discovered that his daughter’s ticket didn’t go all the way home, but only got her to Washington, D.C. The lady then realized that she had also done our reservations wrong and that our kiddos didn’t go all the way home either. So she did the wonderful customer service thing and cancelled our lap kids without contacting us. Seriously. Then, when our friend called us to tell us what she was doing and put her on the phone with us, she refused to assist us today, insisting that we return again tomorrow. Oh my, morale in our group dropped very low very quickly. Right in the midst of all of this, we got a call from Pastor Peter that we’re not getting our DGM letters today. Not a fun afternoon.

But, there is a glimmer of hope tonight. Pastor Peter came and said that half the group will get their DGM letters tonight and the other half tomorrow (first he said by 10 am, then changed it to 2 pm.) We’re hoping our friend can still make her flight tomorrow, so Pastor Peter went back to DGM to get hers. I’m just praying that all of these letters will really come as planned and that we can go back to Ethiopian Air tomorrow and get this all straightened out. Hopefully we’re all on planes no later than Wednesday to head home!!! I think we’ve all loved the experiencing of being here in country, and getting to know the beautiful people of Congo, but we are all quite ready to head back home.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today– Out and About, Soaking Up Culture

2011-11-03T22:40:00.001-04:00

Sunday, Oct. 31, 2010

We went to Pastor Peter’s church again this morning. Ohmygoodness, was it hot! I thought Blake was going to dissolve, he was sweating so much. We adults were, too. I enjoyed worship again but it was harder to focus, just because it was so very hot. There was no air movement in there. And some guy stood up to give a week in review and talked for about 20 minutes. Whew. Barb got up and said some nice things about how much we appreciated all the church has done for us, and also mentioned that we’re praying that we get our letters Monday so we can fly to America on Wednesday. The DGM guy was there again. He told Pastor Peter we’d get (or hopefully get? - translation differences) our letters on Monday. That’d be awesome!!!

After we enjoyed another cold drink, we drove home and fed the kiddos. Then we sat around and talked about cars for our ever growing family. The people who run the guest house have a Hyundai H1 and that would be perfect for us, but it doesn’t look like it’s available in the States.

At 3:00, Gretchen (an American missionary) came by and took us on an outing to the Congo River. It was beautiful! I’m so glad we went. The area was super nice - it was where all the Ambassadors to the foreign embassies live. Up unto that point, we hadn’t really seen any “nice” parts to Kinshasa. We walked for a couple of miles along the Congo river and then back among the gated houses to our driver. The river is very wide. There were some dug out canoes on it – Gretchen guessed they were fisherman.

I found this photo of the Kinshasa River Walk on Google. It really is beautiful!

There were armed guards along points of the walk. Gretchen would just walk up to them and say hello and that we were families who were adopting orphans. They’d all smile and it was no big deal. Seemed strange to me because we have had to be so cautious the whole time we’re here about telling people why we’re here. Thankfully, these armed guards didn’t have a problem with us adopting!

On the way back to the guest house, Gretchen drove us by her home. It was nice as well, but more modest of course than the Ambassadors’ riverfront homes. I hate that we can’t take pictures. I’m hoping to get home and Google pictures of Kinshasa. Maybe someone else was more daring than us and risked it to snap some photos. : )

(I just spent way too much time looking through Google for more pictures, and I’m surprised by what I see. There really isn’t much out there that gives an accurate picture of Kinshasa. Here are two pics I found…one of the airport, and one of a roadside.)

We have 23 minutes to dinner. Fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Probably my favorite dinner of the week. We have them all memorized now. Sun - fried chicken, Mon - spaghetti, Tues - hamburgers, Wed - pork chops, Thurs - beef and vegetables with rice, Fri - sausage/green peppers/onions, Sat - pizza. Breakfasts are Sun - cinnamon roll and granola, Mon – omelet (just an egg…no cheese or anything with it), Tues - French toast, Wed - oatmeal, Thurs – omelet (same as Mon.), Fri - pancakes, Sat - bread and cheese. Just about every lunch is rice with some sort of meat and a sauce. That got pretty old, so we’ve been skipping our lunches and eating power bars instead.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Experiencing a Congolese Village

2011-11-03T21:31:00.001-04:00

Saturday, Oct. 30, 2010

We went to the home of a Congolese friend today. We’ll call her Mary. As we were walking around, lots of people asked why we had black babies, but they usually said they thought it is very good that we are adopting these orphans. One gentlemen asked if we were Mennonites and Mary told him we were Americans. He just smiled and said, “You are welcome in our country.” That really touched me.

It was neat to see where people live. Her housing was probably middle to upper middle class-ish. She, too, gave us Cokes and Fantas. The people here are so generous. When she called the driver to have him come pick us up, he said that he was stuck in traffic and couldn’t get there. She hung up the phone and said he was lying. Luckily, her husband has a car and could take us back in shifts. She talked some about politics. She thinks that Kabila is a good president. She said that she’s 46 years old and after growing up under Mobutu, who did nothing to help the country, she feels like Kabila is at least trying. It was interesting to hear her thoughts.

Playing soccer!

Kids on a slide. Notice the slide stops a few feet from the ground.

We came back and took another nap with the kiddos. Then we hung out in the apartment with everyone, just asking random questions to start discussions. Barb had a couple of riddle/mind bender things we did. Those were fun. Pizza night! We’re always excited for that. The pizza is okay, but we like that we get quite a bit - ½ pizza per person! All of our meals are rationed and while the food is good, there’s just not as much quantity wise as what we’re probably used to. Sad but true.

We heard from Pastor Peter today that DGM doesn’t have our letters yet, but that they’re on the last step. He’s very hopeful for Monday or Tuesday. We’re trying to set plans for when we’re going to Ethiopian Air to confirm our flights and purchase the kiddos’ tickets. It makes me nervous to gamble $800 (change fees if we aren’t able to fly out as planned), but Hubby wants to go Monday morning. We’ll have to wait and see.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–A Day To Relax

2011-10-29T07:20:00.000-04:00

Friday, Oct. 29, 2010

Here was our day in convenient bullet form:

Pretty quiet morning.
Said goodbye to our friend who lives in our city. She’s on her way back with her son!
Pastor Peter’s wife gave Blake a piece of bread. He’s only seven months old and I didn’t know how that’d work, but he just gnawed at it for a long time. He was a hot mess.
Played would you rather? Learned some funny things about our new friends!
We’ve been skipping lunch. We’re just kind of tired of rice w/ meat and sauce. We’re just eating the Clif bars and dried fruit we brought from home.
Took a nap with the babies on our chests. Precious!
We went over to TASOK (The American School of Kinshasa) in the afternoon. It was a nice change of pace. We watched a soccer match. The Congolese team that they were playing didn’t have all the necessary equipment. Some played barefoot and most didn’t have shin guards.

After watching the game awhile we walked to a playground. It was wonderful just watching the kids play a little.
One of the guys played us a song on his iPhone that had us cracking up. It’s called Business Time and it’s quite odd. But it made us laugh. :)
We played tetherball and I got the giggles again. (I always get the giggles during tetherball…it’s really such an odd game.) Hubby and I both knocked over one of the little guys. Lauren got hit in the face. After that, we decided Tetherball with babies wasn’t such a good idea.

Congolese women can carry anything on their heads. They are amazing!

We played Phase 10 after our community gathering. We were cracking up. There were lots of jokes about business time, band camp, etc.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Our 2nd Trip to The Orphanage

2011-10-28T07:45:00.000-04:00

Thursday, Oct. 28, 2010

We met with Pastor Peter early this morning for him to go over our paperwork to get originals to DGM. He kept inspecting two documents very closely and finally handed one back to Hubby and told him to keep it. Hubby looked at it and it was her birth certificate. He said, “You don‘t need it?” Pastor Peter said we had two and then looked at the one in Hubby’s hand and said, “This one good.” Then he pointed to the one in his hand and said, “This one very good.” : )

We said goodbye to some of our friends from Group 1 as they headed out for the airport and then we got in the van and headed to the orphanage where Blake and Lauren were taken again. One of the dads (I’ll call him Jake), Hubby, and I were crammed in the back of the Jeep and ohmygoodness, Jake had us rolling again. He was sitting over the bar on the side of the back seat. Not exactly comfortable. Hubby got the privilege of riding in that spot on the way home. I hope five kids is enough! :)

We got to the orphanage and there weren’t nearly as many children there this time as last time. That place is just very depressing. The walls are dark. There’s hardly any natural light. There is nothing for the kids to do all day. I mean nothing. There are no toys. There was one little boy just playing with the scrap pieces of wood thrown off to the side. I got a picture of nails sticking up inches away from the walkway up the stairs. It’s truly no place for a child. The mamas are sweet, and I think they’re doing the best they can (at least that’s what I want to believe), they just don’t have much at all.

While we were there, though, we ran into a Swedish lady named Jane. She has been supporting the orphanage for almost 10 years. She was there now because she bought them a bus that they can use to earn income. She was so happy to meet us and she had tears in her eyes as we introduced our kids and told her why we were there. I pray God will use her to do great things for those precious children.

I picked up and held a couple of little ones. They just seem so lifeless. There is no expression to their faces. Their bodies are covered in bug bites or skin irritations of some sort. Their clothes are filthy. It absolutely breaks my heart both for these children, but also to know that Blake and Lauren lived that life for awhile before God brought them to us. No child should have to live like that. It’s really hard to visit for 30 minutes when you know that you’re leaving soon and going back to a comfortable life, but these kids have no escape. God, be the Father to the Fatherless.

The kitchen.

Blake was scared of anyone with something on their head. He’d act terrified if I got out of the shower and had my towel wrapped on my head. : (

After the orphanage, we headed home and ate some of our snacks for our lunch. We gave the kiddos baths (which they HATE!) and took showers ourselves and then tried to Skype home. We got to talk to Hubby’s mom. The connection wasn’t great, but it was great to talk with her. Then we fought and fought the stinkin’ thing to get in touch with the kids and it just wouldn’t work. Finally Hubby found the lady who runs the guest house and we were able to use the internet phone to call home. Oh, it was so sweet to hear the kiddos’ voices. We miss them so much. They’re having a great time, though, with Gaga and Papa and seem to be doing really well.

After that, we hung out with the group in David and Barb’s apartment playing truth, truth, lie and asking all sorts of favorites, what would you do kinds of questions…what super power would you have, what spot would you sail to, what do you want to do before you die, etc. etc. Funny quote of the day came from one of the moms,“We’re all adults here…except for the kids.“ : ) We count down all day long for meal times. They’re like the highlight of our days. Tonight at dinner we got to try Fu Fu. It’s made of some kind of flour and water and really had no taste. While I didn’t really care for it, I’m glad we got to try it.

After dinner we had a pretty short community gathering and then headed upstairs to watch a movie. The husband of the lady who runs the guest house had a pretty sweet setup with a projector on a screen. They made popcorn for us and we watched Bolt. Lauren was falling asleep and Blake was pooped, so we didn’t get to watch the whole thing, but it was a nice change of pace. A little touch of home. Popcorn and a movie!

**It was suggested that perhaps I should explain why we’re dressed the way we are. To respect the Congolese culture, the ladies wore long skirts and the guys wore khaki pants and usually long-sleeve shirts. Yes, it was very hot. And yes, we make quite the fashion statement. I found my lovely skirts at Goodwill. I knew I’d be leaving them behind, so I just took what they had!

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Just a Few Things

2011-10-27T06:58:00.000-04:00

Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2010

A bulleted list for the day:

Group 1 got their DGM letters! I’m so excited for them, and encouraged to see that the process does happen the way it’s supposed to!
We played lots more Bananagrams today, and took care of babies while group 1 was at Ethiopian Air getting their flights home arranged.
Jason and I got in our first disagreement here, but we worked it out this evening. I guess one disagreement in this stressful of a situation isn’t bad. : ) I’m so glad we have each other to go through this journey together.
I finished my Adopted for Life book. I found it really encouraging, especially after reading some adoption books that ironically don’t seem very pro-adoption! It did an excellent job of explaining the Biblical view of adoption, and how adoption is a beautiful example of how God chose us (out of nothing of our own doing!) to be his own children. I loved it!

Here’s some cute pictures from the day:

I guess that Lauren didn’t like getting kisses from her buddy. : )

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Another Orphanage Visit

2011-10-26T19:51:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, Oct. 26, 2010

Pastor Peter came early to go through our documents for DGM. He was going through our stuff and asked Hubby for one particular form for Lauren. He looked through the stuff the Embassy gave us, but there wasn’t one. In fact, we had never seen one for her. Pastor Peter looked very concerned and got out his phone to make a call. We were so nervous. Here we were, thinking we were all set and then there’s a document missing. He hangs up the phone and says that she doesn’t have one. We were gearing up for more hurdles, and feeling more tummy flip flops, but then he says, “Not a problem. She doesn’t need it.” Evidently, because of the way her birth certificate was created, we don’t need that other form. Whew. That was close. Thank you, Lord!

That afternoon, we headed out of town a little to visit another orphanage. It was not easy to get there. It was quite a long drive and we had to go down some very narrow dirt roads. At one point there was only one lane carved out of some hills. At two different points on that road, there were other cars coming and we had to back up the entire road to let them through before we could go! But, getting out to Jean Marie’s where there was fresh air, some green spaces, and some pretty views was wonderful. We had seen so much of the dirty city, and it was a blessing to get to see the true natural beauty of Africa.

I’m so glad we were able to go Jean Marie’s. The kids are well cared for there and loved. It’s a medium-sized orphanage (maybe 50 or 60 kids?) and Jean Marie treats them like family. None of the children there have been placed for adoption. When we first got there, there weren’t very many kids there because they were at school, but soon they started trickling in. They were very shy and reserved, but once I got out the beach balls I brought, they began acting more like kids. The totally sweet thing is that they sang for us and prayed a blessing for us. They were very appreciative of all we brought - the books, the balls, the food, etc.

The children are well loved, and you could feel the difference between this orphanage and the one that Blake and Lauren were taken to, but this orphanage has so many needs. Our group was able to do some painting a few days ago and we were working on finding mattresses for them. This is what the children sleep on. : (

I waved at one little girl and she came over by me. She didn’t leave my side after that. I asked her what her name is and she told me Claire. I told her my name and I just put my arm around her and rubbed her shoulder and arm. She didn’t really smile much, but wouldn’t leave. I had James ask her how old she was and she said 7. I told her I had a 7 year old at home, and everyone seemed shocked that I had other kids. I told them that Blake and Lauren made 5 kids and they were so surprised and kept telling me how great I was. That always makes me feel awkward. I said that we just love kids.

It was time for us to go and Claire and I walked out together. I told her that she was very pretty (I wanted to say so much more, but my French didn’t go very far.) I gave her a squeeze and then we had to go. She smiled at me and then stood by our Jeep. They all were out there just waving goodbye. I just pray the Lord watches over them and meets all of their needs. Especially Claire, God. I got tears in my eyes as we left.

The rest of our afternoon we hung around MPH, playing some games, looking at each other’s family pictures from home, and finding each other on Facebook.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–We Have Visas!

2011-10-25T07:09:00.000-04:00

Monday, Oct. 25, 2010

Blake woke up happy!!!! This is a big thing for him. He definitely has some food issues and usually wakes up screaming bloody murder until he gets his bottle. Today, we saw some definite improvements, though!

It was our day to head back to the Embassy to pick up Blake and Lauren’s visas. We were expecting it to be a smooth process, but of course we were there for 3 hours! At the end of the day, though, it is what it is. We got what we needed and that’s all that matters! Praise God, we have their visas!!!!!

Just a couple other interesting moments today:

1. We headed to the market that is just down the block from the Embassy and were entertained by some interesting chip selections! They’re normal brands we have here in America, but some super odd flavors (of course I didn’t journal what the exact flavors were, and now a year later I can’t remember!)

2. While driving through the city today, our driver’s door kept coming open! I can’t imagine how freaked out I’d be if my door flew open while I was driving down the road! He just kept slamming it shut, and then drove with his left elbow out the window to try to stabilize it. It was wild. Thankfully, he didn’t fall out or anything terrible like that!

3. We saw Mama Grace again today at the Embassy. She held Lauren for a short time, but Lauren was sobbing. As soon as she went back to Hubby, she stopped crying. Pastor Peter said in English, “She reject old mama.” I felt terrible for Mama Grace, as I know she loves Lauren, too, but at the same time, that was a good sign for attachment with us and we were grateful that she feels so comfortable with us so soon. (That, and Pastor Peter just makes us smile. He does a great job with his English and it is just adorable to hear him speak.)

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Church and Another Orphanage

2011-10-24T07:08:00.000-04:00

Sunday, Oct. 24, 2010

It was a good day! Hubby was feeling better and I didn’t feel as nauseous as last week after taking my antimalarial, so we got to go to church as a family. It was an awesome time of worship! I had tears in my eyes, just thinking about how this was a glimpse of heaven when we’ll all worship together, from every nation, tribe, and tongue. David did a blessing for Pastor Peter and I cried through that, too.

It was different from American church – hardly anyone was there when service started and the entire time people just trickled in. They worship with freedom – hollers, whistles, dancing, clapping. It was awesome. Their offering time was truly joyful, as well. They all walk (or dance) up to the front to put their offering in one or more of several different offering baskets (one for men, one for women, one for children, one if you are thankful for something, etc.) It was very hot in there, and the benches are far from the cushy seats we all think we need in our American churches, yet you won’t see them complain. They did a receiving line afterwards, and it was cool to greet everyone. They treated us as honored guests, providing us with resin chairs and having us sit in the front, as well as insisting on giving us all cold Cokes or Fantas after the service. The Congolese are some of the most generous, giving, serving people I’ve ever met!

Blake and Lauren were quite popular!

The men sat on the right, the children in the center, and the women on the left.

At one point when I was standing in the back of church with an antsy baby, for curiosity’s sake, I counted the people there. There were 79 including our group. We found out after church that one of the head guys of DGM was there. What are the odds!?!? God is so cool! The guy said he’d get our stuff done on Tuesday. We are hopeful and optimistic, but ultimately trusting God, not men.

We had lunch and then sat around hoping to go to another one of the orphanages. We sat in the sitting area and shared about all of our church backgrounds, which was cool to hear how God has worked in so many lives. We were able to go to Mama Ruth’s orphanage. It was a million times nicer than the orphanage Blake and Lauren were in. It felt more like a family home and there were no more than a dozen kids living there. We had a meeting with the lady that runs it – she’s a widow. She was very appreciative of the gifts we brought. We asked her if we could hang out with the kids and she said that we could. They were not as ready to play with us as the kids at the other orphanage. Some were downright scared. There were two little boys that we tried to play hide/chase/tag with. One of the boys really got into it. There was an older girl (maybe 16?) there who was beautiful. I thought she was working because she always had a baby with her, but I found out that she’s an orphan, too. Heartbreaking. I had James translate to tell her that she had a beautiful smile. She just blushed and grinned. Precious soul.

Here’s the sweet girl I mistook for a caregiver. I didn’t get a picture of her smiling, but she could light up a room. I pray for her future…I don’t know what will happen to her once she “ages out” of the orphanage.

Trying to get him to play.

I ran around all silly and played tag with Hubby and then the boys followed suit.

He busted out into some cartwheels. He’s so stinkin’ cute!

We headed back then to our Sunday night fried chicken dinner at the guest house. Yum. That’s my favorite of the week. We played more Bananagrams, too, which is always lots of fun. We’re excited for tomorrow! (We are picking up their visas and possibly starting the DGM process, the last step before we can bring them home!) Praying it goes well! Blake fought sleep again tonight for about thirty minutes, the little stinker. : ) I guess he just loves us so much he wanted to spend more time snuggling and walking the halls with us!

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Forever Family

2011-10-23T07:14:00.000-04:00

Saturday, Oct. 23, 2010

Today was a very long, boring day. We got a good night sleep, though. We didn’t have plans to go anywhere today so we just hung out playing games like Farkle, Bananagrams, Mafia, and Rummy.

We did have a little fun with one of the Dads with us. We took his iPod touch after the lady who runs the guest house had repeatedly told him not to leave it lying around. Hee hee.

We got to Skype with Mom and Dad. That was the first time Dad has seen the kids and it was cool to see his face light up. We Skyped with the big kids, too. It was SO good to see them all. We miss them lots. It’s still really surreal that we’re in Africa. We feel so far away and so removed from our normal life. I commented to Hubby today that it really feels like Blake and Lauren are our kids. We like to call them Monsieur Blake and Mademoiselle Lauren (or we chant her entire name to her...because she has her name they called her in the orphanage, a first and middle legal name our Congolese attorney gave her, as well as the first, middle, and last names that we gave her, she has about a billion names.)

It’s so beautiful how God brings families together and how two white people from the middle of America and two black children from Equatorial Africa can be family.

Forever family.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–The Day That Rocked My World and Changed Me Forever

2011-10-22T08:01:00.000-04:00

Friday Oct. 22, 2010

Uh oh…Hubby and I are both starting to feel ill. His tummy is bugging him and I have body aches. I took a nap this morning, and that helped a little. We had lunch here - more rice, meat, and greens. Pastor Peter came to have a meeting with group 2. He said that things with one of the Congolese offices were getting difficult. Or as he said repeatedly, “Very complicated.” He had us all totally freaked out. Turned out they just needed $20 from us to process our paperwork. NO big deal. Whew.

Mama Grace visited today. I wasn’t sure how the kids would do with her. They really couldn’t have cared less. They looked at her, looked at me. Looked at her, looked at me. We did find out that they called them Benedicte and Moise. Benedicte was the name they called Lauren in the orphanage, but I have no idea where Moise came from. In the little French I could understand, I got from Mama Grace that Lauren is happy and Blake cries.

We had just sat down with Barb to read through David’s journal and James got back and said the driver was available and we could go to Blake and Lauren’s old orphanage. We scrambled around to get ready to go. Hubby’s tummy kicked into yucky drive, but thankfully we were still able to go. Barb, bless her heart, kept both babies for us so we didn’t have to take them out in the heat.

It was a long, dirty drive there. I’ve been here a week and a half and it is still amazing to me how many people there are everywhere! People are selling anything and everything…even individual packets of Kleenexes. There’s dirt everywhere. It even feels dirty as you’re driving – you can feel it in your lungs, eyes, etc.

As we were just about there, traffic got insane. We needed to turn left to get to the orphanage, but there was a car blocking the road we needed to turn onto. We just did a five point turn around to get over there. We ended up perpendicular across the road and had traffic stopped in every possible direction. It’s not just traffic, though, it’s all the people loitering around and walking in the streets. It got ugly quickly. The guy blocking our road got out of his car and came over to yell at us. Our driver and James were yelling back at him. People all around our car were yelling. We just sat in our car with our hearts pounding, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone. A traffic cop came and did absolutely nothing. One of the guys in our group said what we were all thinking…”It’s okay, we don’t have to go to the orphanage. We can just go back.” Eventually, the guy blocking our road agreed to move and we passed on through. Oh my word, that was scary. Come to find out, the orphanage is only about a block away from all of this.

We pulled up to a much smaller building than I was expecting. There were a couple of kids looking out an upstairs window. I waved and smiled and they did back to me. Soon there were more kids looking out at us. We got out of the Jeep, stepped over the open sewer, and walked through the doors to a very run down concrete building.

***

My journal entry for the day stopped there. The visit that day was incredibly hard. I wanted to just break down then and there. NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THAT. You wouldn’t leave your pet there for ten minutes, yet around 100 children call that place home.

I somehow managed to hold it together, put a smile on my face, and spend our visit loving the children. We passed out some toys, and shared lots of hugs. Their faces lit up when we showed them the things we brought for them. They also loved having their picture taken and getting to see themselves on our cameras. Several children asked me, though, if I had food with me. Balloons, beach balls, and toy frogs bring some joy, but only go so far.

We toured the building and were heartbroken to see the living conditions. No indoor plumbing, so no bathrooms. A kitchen with one pot of rice cooking. That’s all there was…no extra food anywhere. One room for the boys. One room for the girls. One other larger open room that evidently serves as dining room, play room, and sleeping room for the dozens of children that there wasn’t room for in the bunk rooms. There were two workers. Two. For that many children. No wonder our call about Lauren came at 3:00 in the morning. In my sleepy fog, I just remember hearing Diana say, “A baby girl was just brought to ____ orphanage. Can you take her?” Children die here all the time and babies don’t have much chance of survival. I can now see why.

It was just so hard for me to process the reality of these children’s lives and futures. It still is. I still see the hopelessness in their faces. I still long to make life right and fair for them. I still don’t understand why. This side of heaven, I probably never will.

I can’t forget them, though. I confess…sometimes I get all cozy and comfortable in my life here. It’s not fun to think about the injustice, pain, and poverty there. But I can’t forget. I can’t. I must remember. I have to keep them in my prayers. I have to raise awareness and support for them. I can’t ever forget, because the day that I forget the things I saw…well, I just don’t want to go there.

I took some pictures that day. I’ll post them here, but I just feel like they don’t even begin to capture the true environment there.

(I feel like I should note that I removed one of the pictures of a large group of kids. I realized that it showed a toddler boy with no pants and no diaper, only a shirt. Keep in mind that no diaper = mess on child and mess on floor. The same floor they’re all sitting on now. The same floor they eat on, sleep on, and spend most of their day on…usually barefooted, no less.)

This is the one picture we have of the streets of Kinshasa. Because it is illegal to take pictures in public, we could only take this from the safety of the orphanage. This is a small side street and yet here are still lots of people milling about. The blue and yellow vans are the taxis that I mentioned.

This roof is inches away from the stairs where kids go by multiple times a day. It was full of rusty nails and sharp edges. Certainly not a safe place for children.

I should never again complain about my “small” laundry room. I have a laundry room. It has a washer AND a dryer.

Stay strong, sweet boy…stay strong.

As I write this entry one year later, tears flow from my eyes. I just wonder if these children are even still alive. It’s just heartbreaking. Simply heartbreaking.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Waiting for News

2011-10-21T07:28:00.000-04:00

Thursday, October 21, 2010

We sat around, still waiting due to our Embassy delay. Bless his heart, David prayed with Hubby and I today. He is an awesome man, and I broke down in tears only to end our prayer and look up and see that he was crying, too. Our love for Blake already is so overwhelming and the thought of not being able to bring him home with us over a stinkin’ typo just isn’t right!

But guess what?

We talked with the Consul today and she IS APPROVING Blake's visa!!!!! It will be ready on Monday to be picked up with Lauren's!!!! They are issuing the visa the same way his name is on the passport and then they are also issuing an "Also Known As" statement saying that he is also known as the name shown on his adoption decree.

Oh, praise God!!!! We were overjoyed to have that weight lifted!!!

We had planned to go to the orphanage today where Blake and Lauren were placed, but were unable to because some of our friends in Group 1 had to go Ethiopian Air to change their departure tickets and that just took too long. (We only had one driver.) So instead, we sat around playing lots of Bananagrams. I had never played that game before this trip, but I love it! It is so much fun, and we’ve played hours of it on this trip! We laughed and laughed today. One of the guys had some really interesting words he was fighting for like rewood.

One of the many games of Banangrams

Oh, and while finding out that Blake would be receiving a visa was the clear highlight of our day, we did get to have some M n M’s tonight. Oh, they tasted good!!

Back home, our dear friends’ daughter was having major open heart surgery to reconstruct her heart. I couldn’t sleep just praying about her and wondering how she was doing. It was terribly hard to not be at the hospital with them. I’m just thankful for an internet connection, no matter how finicky it is. At least we could keep in touch with them.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Fighting the Good Fight

2011-10-20T19:05:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, Oct. 20, 2010

(This update is mostly courtesy of an email I sent my mom. It was another day with only a few words in my journal. You can tell I was just pretty much pooped. After a hospitalization and now trouble with the Embassy, it was not an easy road we were walking!)

My morning started with more phone calls to Diana. I woke up thinking that perhaps she should have a US Representative or Senator helping, or at least she could be contacting the State Department to inform them of the usual process.

We sat around the guest house all day with the group’s cell phone waiting for a call from the Consul. Hubby checked in with them a few times. It was a fine line between staying diligent, but not annoying them to where they don’t want to help us.

Here’s what I emailed my mom that evening…

“So here's where we are with the Embassy...Hubby talked with the Consul a couple of times today and the final verdict is that there is no final verdict. It's looking good, though. She heard back from the legal team in the States and they told her that a Passport is much more than the little blue book you carry, but it is actually a collection of documents verifying someone's identity. They said that if she feels there is enough other documentation showing his identity, that the switching of the names isn't an issue. So that's good news. Unfortunately, they did question the misspelling of his name. The consul is working tonight trying to gather cases she can cite to them of other accepted misspellings. She really feels like it's a phonetic thing and not a concern. We finally do feel like we have an advocate there - she's been very helpful today. She said that she'll be working on it tonight and that she has meetings in the morning,, but that we should call her after 10:00.

So please keep praying!!!! We are close, but she did say too that we should have a contingency plan because we could encounter problems with this same issue at DGM and even possibly at the port of entry in the States.

Hopefully we'll have actual good news tomorrow and not just potentially good news. : )”

The rest of the evening, our group spent time gathering all the donations everyone had brought. (Our goal was to use as much of our checked baggage as possible for infant formula and clothing and supplies to donate to the orphanages.) We had hundreds, if not thousands, of cans of formula. It was a fun project, and even the kids enjoyed it. It was helpful to us to get our minds off of the struggle over the Passport.

It was so cute to see the kids excited about it, too. They were such good helpers!

It doesn’t look like a ton here, but these stack is at least four rows deep.

This is our whole group…a wonderful group of people!

After gathering everything in the guest house’s dining room, we used a human chain to move it all to David and Barb’s room to store.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Our Embassy Appointment

2011-10-19T21:19:00.001-04:00

Tuesday Oct. 19, 2010

(This is another day where I only had a few words written. Oh c’mon, memory…serve me well!)

Today was a big day. It was our interview day at the US Embassy. Today would make it possible to finally move forward with the last few necessary steps to bring Blake and Lauren home. Of course we’ve loved a chance to experience DRC, but home is the end goal!

We asked our driver to come super early. Things here run on Congo time, which isn’t at all like overly anal American time. Thankfully we planned like that because he was very late. There were five families who were getting more and more nervous by the minute! He did eventually arrive, but it was going to be close. On our way there, someone chatted with Diana and she told us not to worry, that they would see us even if we were a little late.

Nerves were just high that day, period. There had been some confusion with the Embassy as to whether or not they had our children’s passports, and if everything was in order. It should have been, as our passports had been delivered at our drop-off appointment, but we just weren’t 100% certain. Just in case, we all formulated a plan. That’s the kind of stuff you do when you have hours every day to fill, I guess.

Our plan? Shockaweblame.

You have to say it really fast, all mumbled together….shockaweblame. That’s how we did it. :)

First step, shock. What?? What do you mean that you don’t have everything? Second step, awe. (Okay, I confess…I can’t really remember what that step was about. Hubby and I are discussing it right now. Are we in awe that things were handled that way? Or was it more of ah, like a disappointment. If anyone from Group 2 is reading this and can help this poor mama’s memory, please do! Anyways…) Third step, blame. We were told that everything was in order during drop off. If things weren’t, then they’ve lost something, or weren’t responsible in checking everything.

The Embassy is set up with a few doors off on the side of the room, and then chairs out in the main waiting area. The waiting area is only maybe 8 to 9 feet wide. One of our families got called back to one of the doors along the side, and they were in there much longer than Group 1 families had been last week, but they came out and said all was well. Whew. One down, four more to go.

When it was our turn, they only called one of our children. Hubby and I took Blake and Lauren back, though. The consul looked very confused. You could tell she didn’t know we were adopting two children. We filled her in, though, and she went and retrieved the other binder. She asked us several questions, all pretty simple and basic. How many children do we have at home? How did Blake and Lauren come to be available for adoption? Just basic things about our family and this journey.

When she got to Blake’s binder, though, she checked all his stuff and told us there was a problem. His passport had a typo on it. We knew that “Blake” had been spelled wrong and we had been pretty concerned about it, but Diana told us many times not to worry, that it was insignificant.

The consul was not only concerned about the misspelling, but also that the name orders were reversed. His middle name is a Congolese name and it was placed on the top line. In the US, the top line is our last name. We explained to her (remember, there was just a lot of turnover at the Embassy, that’s what caused the whole week long delay in the first place, and she was not familiar with this process) that that is just the way that the Congolese do their passports. All of the children being adopted had passports like that.

She wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t a problem. She said she would need to look into this, and that she was not able to approve us today. We held our still sick little boy in our arms, knowing we needed to get back to medical care in the States ASAP, and I started crying. She was sympathetic and kind, but insisted that she could not approve a child with “falsified documents.” That didn’t sit so well with us. Hubby kindly told her that we hadn’t falsified anything, and simply had a passport that was printed just like all Congolese passports are. She quickly apologized and said that she wasn’t concerned that we were falsifying documents, but that these documents we had presented simply weren’t accurate.

We left the tiny side room we were in, and soon realized that we weren’t the only ones facing this disappointment. A friend of mine from the States used a different adoption agency, and happened to have her interview the same day we did ours. I saw her in the waiting area crying, and found out that the same thing had happened with her daughter’s passport and she had been told the same thing.

We were told to wait to see if anything could be resolved, so we sat there the rest of the afternoon. It was terrible.

We stepped outside a few times to call Diana, who was now back in the States. She is amazing. Have I said that before? Simply amazing. She dropped everything and began making phone calls trying to help us. (She does not run an adoption agency. She has a full-time high-powered job. She facilitates these adoptions in her “free time!” ) Thankfully, by the end of the day (even after their normal closing time), we were told that the switching around of names was okay. They now understood that that was the standard practice in DRC so that a Congolese name was on the top line. So most of the families were relieved and told they could pick up their children’s visas next Monday.

Us, though? She was still concerned about Blake’s misspelling. She told us she had to contact the State Department in Washington, D.C. and that she’d let us know.

After more phone calls to Diana, she unfortunately told us that if we couldn’t get past this with them, we might have to proceed with Lauren and leave Blake behind in DRC while everything got straightened out. I was sick. to. my. stomach.

It was now dark outside, we had been there so long, and Hubby and I felt defeated. We had traveled 28 hours by plane, spent a week in country doing nothing to move our process forward because our interviews had been bumped back, missed our kids at home, had a sick baby who still hadn’t seen a trustworthy doctor, and we were being told he might not receive a visa.

We headed back to the guest house, forced ourselves to eat some dinner, filled in the rest of the group, prayed that we would just continue to trust that God would work it all out, and headed to bed.

(Since we spent the entire day at the Embassy, and it is illegal in DRC to take pictures in public, we didn’t take a single picture today. Sorry for the long entry of text only!)

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–A Shopping Excursion

2011-10-18T07:57:00.000-04:00

Monday Oct. 18, 2010

(I’m pretty much writing this whole day from memory. I had five whopping words written in my journal.) :)

We laid pretty low again today. Another adoptive mom and I were wanting to do some shopping at a local market and James agreed to take us.

We spent a really long time waiting for our driver to come, and James, my friend, and I hung out at the guest house just talking. We talked a lot with James about what Congolese and American cultures were like. It was so interesting! We learned about dating/courting/engagement/marriage, about how Christmas is celebrated (Christmas celebrations are only about Jesus, no Santa involved), how housing is obtained, and more.

He shared that he just assumed American life was like what he had seen in the movies. We assured him our lives were nothing like the movies! He laughed at some of our silly customs and holidays (I mean, really…the concept of Groundhog’s Day is pretty crazy!) and we just enjoyed talking and sharing our lives with each other.

The driver eventually arrived and James took us to a local shopping area. I guess in my mind, I was thinking more open air market with local goods being sold. I was hoping to find some pottery, fabrics, artwork, etc. Instead, he took us to several small shops that sold the same kind of plastic toys and household goods you can find in some stores in America. It really surprised me to learn, too, that these shops weren’t even owned and staffed by Congolese, but by Asians. Most items for sale were placed behind floor to ceiling windows with every item numbered. If you wanted to purchase something, you told the clerk that you wanted a #37 and a #76. A few items hung from the ceiling or the walls. It wasn’t at all what I had pictured.

We didn’t shop for very long. First, it wasn’t exactly what we were looking for and second, we didn’t feel super safe. I’m sure that people had to wonder who we were and why we were there and we got lots of stares again. Because we were just mingling in among the people, that was my first experience with a military presence. I saw guys with guns today. They were just wandering around in the streets like everyone else. I have to admit, it sent a few shivers down my back.

We did stop in one Congolese clothing shop. I say “shop” because that’s what it was, but this shop was nothing like any store in America. It was maybe the size of a bathroom, master closet, or laundry room here. You could fit no more than five or six people in there and there were probably one dozen outfits for sale. That’s it. It was dark – the only light came from the outdoors. It was pretty cool to see authentic Congolese clothing and my friend bought a traditional dress. I didn’t buy one because I’m a really indecisive spender (like I’ve determined that Groupon and Living Social are not for me. By the time I’ve done the research and finally decided that I want something, it’s no longer available!) I just couldn’t think of a time or place where I’d wear it. I wish I wouldn’t have been so stinking practical and would have just bought it, both so that I could have supported their local economy and to have it to show my children. They really were beautiful, and so different from anything at home.

Once we returned to the guest house, Hubby and I had some problem solving to do. Blake was not staying on his bed in the night. He’d roll off and we’d hear him fall on the ceramic tile. We’d get up out of bed, make sure he was okay, put him back in the middle of his mattress, and repeat this process probably at least a dozen times every night. Needless to say, it was getting old. We tried one night with him sleeping in our double bed with us, but one night was more than enough to know that wouldn’t work. I have never seen a kid so antsy. I literally stayed awake counting the seconds between each kick or flop. I’d get to about 12 and he’d do it again. Every 12 seconds on average. All night long. No one slept that night.

We started looking for something we could use as a makeshift crib. David and Barb had an old suitcase they had brought. It wasn’t even theirs; it was their niece’s (if memory serves me right?) and they had “borrowed” it after their giant duffel bag was destroyed during their cross country flight in the States. They didn’t want to take it back home and gave us permission to cut the inside pockets and straps out and let him sleep inside the suitcase (with the lid open, obviously!)

Ah, peaceful sleep at last! He did GREAT in there and I think he felt comfort having a more confined space. Isn’t he cute!?!

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–A Slow Day

2011-10-17T08:06:00.000-04:00

Sunday Oct. 17, 2010

The antimalarial that our doctor prescribed for us was just a once weekly pill. We take them on Saturday nights. I woke up this morning feeling really lousy and nauseous from my antimalarial. It reminded me of the morning sickness I felt with my pregnancies. Yuck.

Blake was still sick, so he and I stayed home while Hubby and Lauren went to Congolese church. I really wish I could have gone, but it’s best that I didn’t. He said it was very hot and very loud and very long, but also a really cool experience. Here’s some pics he took:

This was a just a young kid playing the drums.

This guy’s shirt says “Stop rocking fake s**t.” That’s the danger of wearing shirts that aren’t in your language.

David actually got to preach! (With James’ translation help, of course.)

We spent the rest of the day hanging around the guest house, playing games with our friends, and enjoying getting to know Blake and Lauren better. They’re pretty cool kids.

Looking Back: One Year Ago–Together Again

2011-10-16T08:04:00.000-04:00

Saturday Oct. 16, 2010

After my rough night last night, I was very grateful for a good night’s sleep. Barb called around a little and one of the local missionaries, Tim, agreed to help us out and came to pick up me and David. We arrived at the hospital and you could see that Hubby was relieved to see us.

We started to make the transition again for me to stay the day and Hubby to head back to the guest house. I got tears in my eyes when I realized that David wasn’t just making sure I got to the hospital safely, but that he planned to stay with me for the day. I had no idea. I tell you what, these people we are with are just amazing.

Tim was a wonderful advocate, explaining the system to us and being proactive. Blake seemed a little bit better and we decided we were going to push to be discharged. Well, there is no discharging in Congo. If you want to leave, you leave. But still. We needed to be able to treat Blake at home. Fortunately, when we saw a doctor (not the same one Diana and I met with the previous night), he recommended going home on his own. I guess the doctor last night really did just see us as a chance to make some money.

Just before noon, Hubby (he hadn’t left yet…there had been too much going on that morning), David, and I packed up, paid our $465 bill, and headed out to look for a cab. Praise God, we were going back to the guest house, our home away from home! But as we walked down the street, 3 white folks with a black baby, we got lots of stares. And we noticed zero cabs. We went out on the road and stood for a moment but became increasingly nervous. Cabs aren’t marked as cabs. How were we to know what was a cab and what was a person trying to get us into their car to drive us to who knows where and take everything we have and leave us for dead? So, we decided to walk back to the hospital and call Tim. He was unavailable then but said he could come get us in 30 minutes if we could wait. Yes, yes! We could wait.

It was wonderful to arrive back at at the guest house and just settle in to life here again with the four of us. Blake was still sick, and he still fought his medicine, but he was eating and his fever was being managed with Tylenol. Hopefully his amoxicillin would work. I did some laundry in the tub and we gave the babies a bath. It was great to go about normal routines again. Saturday evening was pizza night – and we each got half of a pizza to ourselves!!! After being used to being rationed, it was heavenly. We all crashed pretty early. It had been a long couple of days.

Looking Back: One Year Ago–Another Very Tough Day

2011-10-15T08:00:00.000-04:00

Friday Oct. 15, 2010

In the morning, Diana and I went to the hospital to relieve Hubby. Evidently during the night, Blake’s fever spiked very high again. Hubby’s night was awful. In his own words, it was one of the worst of his life. He was feeling very emotional and helpless. Blake was just so very sick and we still didn’t know why, or if he’d be okay. I got settled in at the hospital and Hubby and Diana stayed until we got an x-ray for Blake but then they headed back to the guest house. Hubby needed to rest a little and would take care of Lauren during the day. Thankfully, James (our translator) stayed with me for most of the day, but we didn’t talk much and it was still a very lonely feeling. It was very intense, the feelings we had for Blake. Here we just met him, but we loved him. We felt very worried and protective of him. It was scary watching him so lifeless and not feeling confident in the care he was getting.

This is the only picture we took of Blake in the hospital. His IV was in his left hand. He sucks his left thumb and was beside himself that he couldn’t get to it. Poor baby!

The hospital room itself felt almost like solitary confinement. It was a small room and very tall. There were windows at the very top that were open to the outside, but there was no way to see out of them. You could hear the street noise, but rarely did you see another person. The entire day I was there, I saw the nurses once – they came to give Blake his medicine around 2:00. The room was incredibly bare. Stark white walls. One table. Two old style hospital beds. One plain chair. Thankfully, one air conditioning unit. It either blew full force, or not at all. We’d go back and forth between the two.

I left a couple of times to use the bathroom, always making sure that James wouldn’t go anywhere. The bathroom was just around the corner from Blake’s room. All day long a gentleman sat outside in the hallway. He was friendly and we’d nod and smile each time I walked by.

Around 5:30, James took a phone call and said that “Jim” said they were on their way and that he could go. The thing is, I don’t know a “Jim.” Perhaps I misunderstood and he really said a different name? That’s what I’d like to believe. James really seems like a good guy. He left right after that call.

For several hours I sat in a hospital room with my very sick baby. In the Congo. In the evening. All by myself. Waiting for someone to come.

Needless to say, it was pretty stressful.

I tried to pray, to journal, to comfort and encourage Blake (although he was so lethargic, he just slept most of the time). I could hear people fighting outside on the street. I could hear car doors. Each car door I heard I wondered if that was Hubby. As time went on, I began to worry that something had happened to him. Meanwhile, I watched the mosquitos beginning to swarm. The window in our room had no screens. It seemed ironic to me that he was in the hospital with “a little bit” of malaria (although the hospital’s malaria test turned up negative, so who knows) and we were sharing our room with dozens of mosquitos. I just kept thinking that if he didn’t have malaria when he came in, he’ll probably have it when he leaves.

Well, it was 8:45 and pitch dark before anyone showed up. I was beyond relieved to see Hubby walk in that room!!! Diana was with him. We hadn’t seen a doctor that day, so being that she spoke French, she asked for more information. She and I were taken upstairs to an office to meet with a doctor while Hubby stayed with Blake. The doctor pulled out Blake’s x-ray and pointed out some problem areas in his lungs. He told us that Blake was very sick and probably couldn’t go home for many days.

The problem was that we didn’t know if we could trust him. Was that true, or did he just see it as an opportunity to make money? It could have been pneumonia and been bad like he was telling us. It could have been malaria. It could have been a viral infection. It could have been something else altogether. We just didn’t know. Back down in Blake’s room Diana was explaining to us that if it was a viral infection, there’s really nothing we can do and that we should all be prepared to catch it and be sick. So being the planner that I am, I asked her what we do if we all get sick. She said that she didn’t want any adults coming to the hospital. We needed to tough it out. She told me about the time she was here and caught pneumonia and had blood running out her nose, but she just kept on. And about the time the travel agent was here and got malaria and thought she was going to die she was so sick.

Um, yikes. Bless her heart, Diana is one of the most amazing people I know, and I think she was trying to encourage me to stay strong, but after one of the most stressful days of my life, and already worrying enough about my son…well, I just couldn’t go there.

Our plan was to have Hubby spend the night with Blake again. We got him all settled in and Diana and I headed back to the guest house in a taxi she had waiting. This wasn’t a yellow cab, though, like in the States. Taxis are unmarked in Congo, and are just someone who offers to drive people around for a fee. It’s very hard to know if you can trust a taxi driver, and she was pleasantly surprised that he had waited for her. We asked for his cell phone number in case we would need his help again and he wrote it on a scrap piece of paper for us. Not super official.

When we got back, I pretty much broke down in David and Barb’s room. They were very supportive and encouraging. They had saved me some dinner, which I couldn’t eat much of, but I thought that was nice of them. Through my choked-back tears I talked the guest house manager into keeping her office open just a little later than normal so that I could use the satellite phone to call home to my mom. No matter how old you get, sometimes you just need your mom. I was nervous to call her because I was so emotional and I didn’t want her to be upset or to worry, but it was very comforting to talk with her. She just encouraged me to hang in there, that it would all be okay, and that there were lots of people praying for us there.

I got back to David and Barb’s room and they had talked. They were formulating a plan for the morning. Barb had the really wise idea to call one of the missionaries we knew to go with us to the hospital to be an advocate. James is great, but he only translates. We just didn’t understand Congo’s medical system and needed more help. Plus, David and Barb asked if they could keep Lauren for the night and they offered me Ambien to help me sleep. I thought about it and accepted on all counts. I got Lauren settled for the night with them (she had been sleeping through the night just fine, so it shouldn’t be a big burden for them), took my Ambien, said my prayers, and slept like a baby.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–A Very Tough Day

2011-10-14T07:26:00.000-04:00

Thursday Oct. 14, 2010

Today was a tough day. Blake was acting really lethargic. We had some concerns about his health from the moment we first saw him, and had multiple conversations where we’d look at each other and say, “Do you think he’s okay?” But today, not only was he lethargic, but he spiked a fever, too. Pastor Peter called a doctor friend he knew whose office was just next door and he came to see Blake. He suggested we take him to a lab for a malaria test. Hubby and David (our escort, who is a pastor here in the States) went to the lab. Hubby was so surprised when they pulled up to a hole in the wall kind of a building, and even more surprised when they were taken to a room that more closely resembled a dark closet. Hubby was very nervous, and could see in David’s eyes that he was nervous, too. I think he would have gotten up and just left except that thankfully, they pulled out a clean, new, sterile needle from a sealed wrapper. It hit Hubby pretty hard when they asked him if he wanted the malaria test and he said yes, without even asking how much it cost. How many parents were standing just outside that building with sick children, but were unable to afford the test? We take so much for granted!

Blake’s test came back positive for malaria. Actually, we were told he had a little bit of malaria, which sounded a lot like being a little bit pregnant to me. Either you have it or you don’t. Anyways, the medical system works completely different in Congo and you don’t need prescriptions to get medicine. You simply go to the pharmacy and buy what you need. The same doctor that visited us this morning suggested we get Blake started on an antibiotic, antimalarial, and vitamin. So we went to the pharmacy and got those.

We learned quickly that Blake HATES medicine. I’ve never seen a kid like this before. Screaming, kicking, gurgling, choking, etc. And unfortunately, he needed a lot of it. We finally got it all in his little system and he vomited. We had been pretty stressed all day, just worried about him, and I think that about put us over the edge. We didn’t know what to do!

Thankfully, there were some Canadian nurses on a mission trip staying at our guest house and they told us to redose and showed us some tips to help him take it. But as the night went on, Blake only got worse. He threw up his 6:30 bottle too and refused any Pedialyte or formula. The nurses said he sounded like he had fluid on his lungs. Another little boy in our group just got home from the hospital with pneumonia. We were very scared and nervous, wondering if perhaps Blake had it, too. After much discussion with the nurses, and lots of prayer, Hubby, David, and Diana took him to the hospital and because it was already very late, Hubby planned to spend the night there with Blake. I was feeling very anxious about the whole situation, but I was able to talk with my friend whose son just came home and I asked about what the hospital was like. She set my mind at ease and said that it’s relatively clean and she felt safe, just not to leave him alone…ever.

Lauren and I went to bed, and I just laid there praying for our sweet son. Having a child in the hospital would be hard enough if we were in the States where we understood the healthcare system, and trusted that he was getting good care. Knowing my husband and son were in a hospital where they couldn’t communicate with any doctors, and not knowing at all what was wrong with him and if he’d be okay was just. plain. hard.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Heading Out and About

2011-10-13T08:09:00.001-04:00

Wednesday Oct. 13, 2010

(Remember…our friends’ names have been changed!)

I was completely surprised at how well Blake and Lauren slept! We were pooped last night and really needed a good night’s sleep. Thank you, Lord! We fed them at 9:30 p.m.and they went right to sleep. Our room only had one double bed, so we had them sleep on an extra twin mattress on the floor (with a mosquito net, of course).

It was 5:15 before we heard anything from them. Lauren was awake and very restless. We’d never heard her cry, and knew that sometimes children who had been orphaned don’t cry (when a baby’s cries go unanswered for so long, they just quit crying…it’s rather sad) so we didn’t know if she was hungry or not. We decided just to go ahead and feed her. Blake was up soon, too, once we started moving around the room. It was so wonderful to wake up and see their sweet, beautiful faces!

After breakfast, our task for the day was to head to the US Embassy. While there were 9 families total, we were divided into two groups…Group 1 and Group 2. (Not the most creative names, but hey, it worked.) Group 1 had their interviews at the Embassy. It’s a long story, but originally, those were Group 2’s interviews. Due to some staff turnover at the Embassy, there was a lot of confusion during the time that Group 1’s original interview dates occurred, and due to issues beyond Group 1’s control, they weren’t able to complete them as planned. The Embassy moved the interviews around, switching Group 1’s interviews to our original date, and moving Group 2’s back one week. But because the Embassy waited to do that until just a couple of days before, almost all of us just kept our same flights. We still held out some hope that maybe if we were there in person, they’d go ahead and see us. If not, that meant that our entire first week in country would not be of any benefit to helping bring our kiddos home. We knew that the process to finish our paperwork would take anywhere between 2 and 6 weeks, so one whole extra week with nothing moving forward was not ideal.

We learned quickly that getting places in Kinshasa is difficult. And hot! We all “crammed” in a van. I put quotes because when you see the Congolese taxi vans, that’s crowded! Like rip the seats out, put benches in, cram probably 30+ people on the benches with several more people hanging out the doors crowded.

The US Embassy was smaller than I had pictured. We went and waited while Group 1 had interviews. It was tough for those of us in Group 2 because we could see that it only takes 6 minutes or so to do each interview, but it didn’t work for them to just “fit us in” and we knew we’d have to wait a week for our rescheduled interviews. While we were there we tried to register online that we were in country like they want all Americans visiting DRC to do, but that was taking forever, so we were really more just along for the ride.

Oh, so here’s a story…

While we waited in the Embassy, Lauren pooped for the first time since we met her. I went to the bathroom to go change her. Our escort, Barb, asked if I needed help, but I said no, I’d be fine. Well, I got her on the diaper deck and started to change her and ohmygoodness, she exploded! Poop shot out her bottom and flew about five feet across the room! I have never seen poop like that before in my life, and I’ve seen poop! I mean, Lauren is my fifth child! I got the giggles and called for Barb after all. She opened the door, stepped in it, and almost fell! Poor Barb will probably have remnants of that in her shoe for a looong time! At home, we rank the disgustingness of our kiddos’ poops by how many wipes it took to clean. Usually the really bad ones are four or five wipers. This one? No joke, probably at least a 20 wiper! Not the surprise I was hoping for today, but at least we got some good laughs.

After the Embassy, our group walked just a block or so away to a market that Diana (our American attorney) said was for westerners, but we were one of very few westerners. The people there were mostly Congolese. We got lots of stares. I have to admit, it was eye-opening to truly feel what it’s like to be a minority.

After the market, the group split up and Hubby went to a different market, one for locals, to buy rice and beans for an orphanage. Some of our group went there a couple of days ago (Group 1 arrived in Congo a few days before those of us in Group 2 did, so they had already experienced some of Kinshasa) and didn’t have the best experience. They discovered that if you make eye contact and converse with people, a large crowd ends up gathering around you. I guess it got a little mob-ish and frightening until Pastor Peter got back to the van and got them out of there. We all agreed not to send our entire group back to that particular market, just to avoid drawing attention to ourselves again. But because it’s much more affordable to buy the supplies we needed to take to the orphanage there, a couple of guys went, Hubby included. I went back to the guest house with Blake and Lauren. Go figure, that afternoon there was a huge rainstorm and Hubby was very delayed. When it rains, the city kind of shuts down. Roads flood very easily, and travel becomes even more difficult. It was kind of nerve-wracking being apart and I was so glad to see him arrive “home” that night!

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–The Moment We’d Been Waiting For

2011-10-12T07:34:00.000-04:00

Tuesday Oct. 12, 2011

After switching planes in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, we were all settled on our new flight and headed on to Brazzaville, Republic of Congo. It is their capital city and is directly across the Congo River from Kinshasa…our final destination. Brazzaville looked more like what I was expecting Africa to look like. As we sat on the plane there for about an hour, watching some passengers get off, and some new ones board, my tummy was going crazy. I was getting more nervous by the minute. The flight attendants were upset with us because we were moving seats now that the plane was not as full so that we could be together as a group. Well, that, and for some reason they didn’t want us even standing up during the 1 hr. stop. You try sitting there with your stomach in a knot not doing anything for an hour!

But soon, we were on our way. It was less than a 10 minute (14 mile) flight over the Congo River to Kinshasa. It seemed like a waste of jet fuel to just go that far. But that’s what happened, and soon, we were on DRC soil. It truly felt like a miracle that we were there. The months of waiting and wondering what this would be like! And here we were!!!

The plane had to do what seemed like a 17 point turn around on the runway – there was only one strip for the whole airport. So you land on the runway, come to a stop, and then turn around and go right back down it to get to the terminal. They have these trams that meet you at the plane to take you to the building, and we hopped on that and rode to immigration. This was the portion of the trip that I was most fearful of. We had heard about what a horrible experience the Kinshasa airport is, and while it is completely unlike anything here in America, I was surprised – the first portion of it was air conditioned, I didn’t see men armed with machine guns, and most of the people were friendly. There was some concern with our yellow fever cards because the month and day dates were reversed, but we were able to show them how that’s just a cultural thing. While we write August 11, 2010 as 8/11/10, they’d write it as 11/8/10. While it freaked us out momentarily that they weren’t letting us pass through and giving us all sorts of looks and telling us there were problems, they did let us through.

We soon met Bob*, the guy that works with DGM (Congo’s immigration) – and we were so happy to see someone sent by Pastor Peter! (I’m calling him Pastor Peter because he is an amazing man…truly a rock to all of us! In the Bible, Jesus called Peter the rock that He’d build the church upon.) It was crazy to me that I was the one in the group with the best French, and I struggled to put together any French I could (it had been like 14 years since I had studied French!) so I could communicate with Bob. Thankfully, I had a pocket dictionary where we could look up what we wanted to say and point.

It took awhile for our bags – it was a little stressful because of the language barrier and the fact that it was very hot (the air conditioned portion of the building didn’t last long!) Finally, we got our bags, but people kept carrying them off after our American attorney, Diana (I would call her Wonder Woman because she is that amazing, but that would feel a little strange to read an ongoing story about Wonder Woman. I googled Wonder Woman’s real name, and apparently it’s Diana. Who knew!?! Anyways…I digress…) told us not to let them leave with your bags! She had told us just to sit on them if necessary! It was quite a scramble. But again, we made it through just fine. Pastor Peter and Diana pulled up in a van outside the airport to pick us up – it was wonderful to see them!! We left for our guest house. At this point, I was so grateful that we made it through the part of the trip I was most nervous about, and I was just filled with excitement. Well, excitement and sweat. Yes, the sweat. Did I mention it was hot? But who cares!?! We were here!!! We really were here!!!

It was about an hour journey to the guest house, and the streets of Kinshasa were fascinating to watch. Some things stood out to me right away. First, I was amazed by all the dirt. Roads weren’t necessarily paved, and there really wasn’t any grass. Just dirt on the roads, dirt along the side of the roads, dirt everywhere. The streets were very narrow. However, there were very wide “shoulders” with tons of people selling things, just hanging out, etc. There were people everywhere. The buildings were very old and run down. We did come to an area of Kinshasa that felt much more urban, but there were still people everywhere.

The traffic was downright crazy. The first one there wins. It seemed crazy to me that in a city of upwards of 10 million people, there were no stop lights! Some intersections had multiple police officers trying to direct traffic, but there were cars everywhere. It was like a giant game of chicken.

But soon, we arrived at the guest house!! There were several families there already, one of whom lives in our hometown and I had met a few weeks before. It was great to see them all, and see them with their children! We were told Blake and Lauren would be there in about an hour. Diana showed us our room – it was air conditioned and had a private bathroom! Wow! We sure weren’t expecting that! It was very humble, but nice. The only problem we saw was that there were ants everywhere. They had left water in pitchers for us. We were grateful as we were very thirsty, but we noticed that one pitcher was left open and ants were swimming in it! (We found out later, they do this on purpose to attract the ants to just one container.)

We had only been there a few minutes and had started to unpack when someone called our name and said, “Your babies are here!” EEK!!!! Ohmygoodness, the moment…the one we’d been waiting for!!! We were about to meet Blake and Lauren!!! I started shaking, grabbed the cameras and went to the common area. Everyone had their children but us. We missed their “gotchas!” I was bummed that we had missed that, but I began frantically looking around the crowd for Blake and Lauren. They were on Mama Grace’s lap and she was sitting along the wall. Totally overwhelming. Amazing!!! I started crying. There aren’t words to describe what it was like to see the babies! No more needing to kiss their picture on our refrigerator. They were here and I could be with them!! I was so grateful to Mama Grace (their foster mother). I just cried, staring at my babies, and saying over and over again through my tears, “Merci beaucoup!”

So, my first impressions? Blake looked limp – his head was just hanging backwards. Both of them were very tiny…much smaller than I was anticipating. But oh man, were they beautiful!! She handed them to us. It was so amazing to hold them after all this time!!! Lauren was really content and Blake fell asleep on my shoulder after just a couple of minutes. It felt surreal. After months of loving them from afar, we were finally together.

Together forever.

We took pictures, ate dinner, hung out in our escorts’ room, Skyped with the kids and my mom (who was also in tears, getting to see her new grandson and granddaughter!), had a little meeting with the whole group (there were nine families altogether, plus Diane, and two escorts), then went to bed. Oh, what a day!! Thank you, God, for the blessings!!

*For the sake of security, and because I don’t have permission from these people to put their names out on the internet, I have changed all names.

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Heading Out

2011-10-11T08:37:00.000-04:00

(If you’re wondering what this is all about, I explain here.)

Monday, October 11, 2010

We were packed, ready, and had a whopping three or so hours of sleep under our belt. My brother Matt arrived very early to take us to the airport! We loaded everything into his car and headed out! I was co-pilot and unfortunately missed the parking garage at the airport, so we got to circle around the airport again to find where we needed to go. We were getting nervous about time. We had plenty, though. Honestly, I think we were just nervous about the day, period. Thankfully, check-in went fine. Our checked bags were primarily filled with formula and were over a little on the weight limit, but they allowed us to have 52 pounds per bag. Matt had an extra bag with him with a few more cans of formula, so we asked if we could throw one more can in and the guy let us. : ) Saying goodbye to Matt was hard, and I had more tears as we hugged him and left to head through security.

I was very nervous at the airport! This really was happening! Our flight was delayed and we were afraid we’d miss our connecting flight in DC. We sat there, checking our watch every two minutes or so. Honestly, there was a part of me that just wanted to go on home and forget it. Of course, the larger part of me knew we were in exactly the right spot.

Once we were on the plane, though, it felt like God was carrying us. I listened to a mix CD a friend had made on my iPod, and it was very comforting. I definitely felt peace about everything. Our first flight wasn’t too long and we landed in DC and found out that our next flight was only a few gates down. What are the odds? Thankfully, even though our first flight was late, we weren’t at risk of missing the one to Africa. We headed to check in for our next flight, and met one of the moms we were traveling with in the bathroom in DC. I had talked with her a couple of times by phone, and had a good idea that might be her. (Her giant carry on bags and her sweet southern accent gave her away!) It was so comforting to see her and we exchanged a big hug!

Ethiopian Air wanted to check Hubby’s carry-on because it was over their 15 pound limit. Yikes! We had carefully packed everything so that even if we never saw our checked bags again, we would be okay for the trip. Our carry-ons had all of our clothing, snacks, diapers, and some formula. Mine was over, too, but only by about 10 pounds. His was over by about 30 pounds. We “fought” for awhile to get to keep it with us but still pay the penalty. Thankfully, they agreed to let us do that. Best $60 we could have spent, just for the peace of mind! We settled in and met the other families traveling with us. They were such a nice group of people, and we were grateful to be able to make this journey with them!

We had a good but very long flight to Ethiopia. They played this Ethiopian music constantly – I liked it at first, but after hours of it, it got a little old. We watched some not so great movies. I enjoyed some quiet time (well, kid-free time anyways…my last for quite a while!) reading and listening to music. It was difficult to sleep on the plane, so I only slept in a couple of thirty minute segments or so. We spent one hour in Rome to refuel the plane, but we weren’t allowed off the plane. It would have been cool to see Rome, but I guess that will have to happen at another time. From Rome, we flew into Ethiopia. I was surprised; it looked very urban.

Our flights lasted over 28 hours, so stay tuned for our arrival in DRC! That came on 10/12/10!

Looking Back: One Year Ago Today–Preparing to Leave

2011-10-10T21:17:00.000-04:00

I’ve wanted to blog about our journey to Congo and back for some time now. Sadly, it’s a whole year later.

I’m finding myself very nostalgic as I think back to this time last year. I figured if I ever am going to post about our trip, it would be fun just to relive it here and now just as it happened a year ago.

Perhaps this will just be for me; perhaps some of you will enjoy reading along. Regardless, even if it’s just for me, I’m looking forward to reliving the journey, and I hope and pray that Blake and Lauren will find it a blessing to know what our journey to them was like.

As a disclaimer, I did journal throughout the journey, though I’m finding that my “journal” is really more of just a bulleted list of happenings and thoughts of the day. In order to post some coherent thoughts, I will be rewriting it as I go. I hope this extra work required can actually happen and doesn’t stop me from posting anything at all…because you know how I am with my blogging these days. (I’m just sayin’!)

Hmm…maybe I better hope someone reads along after all. You all can hold me accountable!

Well, without further ado, one year ago today…

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Tonight we said goodbye to the kiddos. It was by far one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. We were packed and ready and spent some time here just hanging out the five of us. We read books, wrestled, prayed together, and enjoyed lots of snuggling. After dinner, we took them over to the neighbors (where they were spending the first week of who knows how many) to get all settled in. We hung out over there for a little while and took some pictures of our family together.

In the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder if these were my last moments with my kiddos. This is a big journey we’re going on, and there were no guarantees! I hated thinking like that, but just couldn’t help it. We tucked them in for bed, and left in tears. It was so very hard to come back home and sleep in our own bed. If we weren’t going to be able to be with Josh, Sarah, and Megan, I felt like we should just be on our way already. We didn’t sleep much. We were hoping to get to bed early. Ha! : ) There was still lots of last minute packing, organizing, etc. I think it was sometime after midnight when we finally crashed. Tomorrow would be the start of a life-changing journey.

He might be getting older, but…

2011-09-26T22:21:00.001-04:00

I had a moment today that I almost completely forgot about (already!) and it's so very sweet, that I just can't let that happen. I decided to blog about it to keep it as a record of a bright spot. I apologize to all of you who are looking for more newsy updates, but this is what today brings.

I peeked in on my oldest during his lunch time at our school (we still homeschool, but are part of a co-op/school for homeschoolers). I happened to catch him just as they were finishing and cleaning up. I watched him bend over, pick up some trash from the floor, pause to look at it, and then fold it and gently place it in his pocket.

Why, you may wonder, is that such a bright spot that it deserves one of a handful of posts for the year?

Well, because the "trash" that he folded and put in his pocket was the napkin I sent with him in his lunch with a note from me telling him that I loved him and hoped he had a great day.

Such a sweet, sweet boy. I love him like crazy!

Time flies when you're having fun

2011-06-20T15:27:00.006-04:00

We've been home now for 7 1/2 months! I'm thinking it's time for a new headline on my blog. "We're home" somehow feels a little old and stale.

I'm guessing it's not just me. :)

So yes, we're home. And yes, we're in love. Life is wonderful yet crazy, busy yet full of regular routines, and at times challenging yet blissful. I really can't imagine my life without these five children. We are so incredibly blessed.

Since we're home safe and sound, let me introduce you to my two "new" sweeties!

First, Blake-man. He is a cutie pie!!! I like to say about him that he is very chill...until. Until he loses it, and then watch out! He can get MAD! But he also has a smile that could totally light up not only a room, or a neighborhood, or a city, but probably an entire continent. It's that cute and contagious! Blake loves all things drum related and he likes to dance. He loves playing with his brother and sisters, and is a total cuddlebug. He's working so hard at walking, but still gets around by crawling. Sometimes he likes to "chase his tail" and crawl around in a circle. It's pretty cute.

He had a rough start, as when we met him, he was only 12 1/2 pounds and could hardly hold his head up. He was quite ill at the time. We spent two nights in an African hospital (not exactly fun), and worried about his health for most of the 3 1/2 weeks we were gone. Once he got home, he tested positive for two strains of malaria, and soon caught the chicken pox from his sister. I'd say the first few months home with him were difficult, as he just battled so many viruses and just didn't feel well. This spring he seemed to turn a corner, and we commented that we loved getting to know the real Blake. The Blake that didn't feel like poop all the time.

And our Lauren girl. Ahh, Lauren. She's our little wild woman. But man, what a cutie! When we met her, we called her "chill." She just seemed so easy going. Once we got home, a friend from church met her and said to us, "Oooh, she's sassy." We said to her, "Nope. Not really. She's incredibly laid back." Well, silly us. She started crawling on Christmas night and it was like her whole personality changed. She suddenly realized there was a whole world out there that she could explore, and nothing was going to get in her way! While she had been sick before we got to her, she has been healthy as a horse since we've known her, with the exception of the chicken pox shortly after we arrived home. She's steadily making progress in all areas of development, and is not just walking, but running all through the house.

She's certainly my first child that has demanded so much attention. If I don't watch her for two minutes, she manages to pull all of the books off the shelf, play with the plug on the computer, and stick her arm down the toilet. Whew. Some days she wears me out, but my prayer with her is, "God, please don't let me squelch her spirit. I know you've made a fearless and strong-willed little girl for a reason." While she won't sit still for two seconds, Lauren is a loving little girl who loves to laugh, push doll babies around in a stroller, play peek a boo, and experience new things and places. She adds a lot of excitement to our family and is such a blessing!

So after 7 1/2 months, I've finally introduced you. Maybe in another six months, I'll share some about our journey there, life as a family of seven, and the burden my heart feels for the children left behind.

I have so much I want to say, it's just finding the time to say it that is the challenge. I really want to write more, though. I find it calming, and I love having a record of God's wonderful blessings in my life. Like these precious five:

We're Home!!!!

2010-11-06T16:04:00.002-04:00

Wow, what an amazing, stressful, life-changing month!!! Hubby and I both journeyed halfway around the world and got to meet our two precious little ones. We were able to visit three orphanages, meet lots of amazing people, and learn a lot about the country where our children were born.

Now that we're home safe and sound, I've removed my privacy settings. Whew. I'm so relieved that I don't have to be as concerned about jeopardizing anyone's safety!

And if you've been reading, you've probably realized that I haven't posted one single thing about our trip. I should have known better that I wouldn't have time.

But now that we're home with five kids, I should have plenty of time to post, right? : ) Well, I'm hopeful. I journaled throughout our trip and I'm hoping to post most of that so I can share with you all the amazing things the Lord has done. Stay tuned!

Going Even More Private

2010-09-20T22:43:00.002-04:00

If you've read for awhile, you've seen my struggles with going private on my blog. Like here, or here, or here. I do still feel like I made the best decision, though. I just can't imagine putting our kiddos or anyone we work with in jeopardy.

Here's the thing, though. We're getting closer to the end and I'm feeling the need to increase our security. There's some of you who read along that I don't really know in "real life" and are reading along perhaps because you're on your own adoption journey or because you were wanting more information about an African adoption.

I'm so sorry, but in the next few days, I'm going to be tightening our security and only allowing access to those of you who we know personally, are with the same organization, or we have at least conversed with online. If you are not in one of those categories, I really am sorry. I hope that no one is offended. My current plan is to remove all privacy settings once our kiddos are home safe and sound and return back to a normal blog. So you should all be able to read about our journey at some point, just maybe not while it's actually happening.

(Although, who am I kidding? I'm not sure I'm going to have time to blog about any of it anyway!! You might not miss out on anything!) : )

And for those of you that I do know personally, if I accidentally delete you as a reader, please forgive me! Don't take it personally - it's probably just that I didn't recognize your email. Just please send me an email and ask me to add you again and I'd be happy to.

I really do appreciate all of my readers - your prayers for our family & your encouraging words mean so much. I'm so sorry to have to do this, but our kiddos' safety has to come first. I just can't wait for the time when I can blog freely again without concern of adoption snafus!

Update on "Thursday"

2010-09-10T14:35:00.002-04:00

Thanks for your prayers for our family. I did want to let you know that yesterday (Thursday) was a no-go. We found out Tuesday night that the things we were needing would not come through that quickly.

So Tuesday night and Wednesday morning I had a wonderful opportunity to tell the Lord that I still loved Him, still would worship Him, and still would follow Him even though I didn't get what I wanted. He's not a genie in a bottle and I absolutely trust that His ways are perfect.

Well, Wednesday morning we got a phone call from our attorney and while Thursday was not-to-be, she had great news for us!!! I will just say that things are rolling right along and the end of this part of the journey (and the beginning of the next chapter!) is in sight!!!

We are working with a travel agent and are preparing for the trip of a lifetime!!! Please continue to keep us in your prayers!!!

Happy Birthday, Sarah!

2010-09-08T23:07:00.003-04:00

My sweet daughter turned five today.

How does this happen? I mean one minute you're in the hospital holding this itty-bitty thing, praying and dreaming about what her life will be like. The next minute you've blinked and she's well on her way to being a young lady!

I am so very proud of Sarah. She has a heart of gold and a smile that lights up a room. Her giggle is infectious. Her childlike faith is inspiring. Her ability to both dance like a beautiful princess and boogy-down makes you want to move with her.

She is precious.

She is one-of-a-kind.

She is so very special to us.

She is fearfully and wonderfully made.

She is perfect for our family.

She is my daughter.

Happy 5th Birthday, Sweet Sarah. I hope you had a special day and that you know just how much you are loved!

Thursday!

2010-09-06T22:26:00.005-04:00

We got word today that something important is supposed to happen on Thursday with the adoption! Unfortunately, there's one thing that we still need to have happen first. Will you please pray that this one thing will come through for us?

(I apologize for the total vagueness of this post. I realize it's probably frustrating. We're just doing it for security purposes and hope you'll understand!)

Along those lines...can I just tell you how hard it is not to share more about all this!?!?!?!?!? Really!!! I can't wait until they're home safe and sound and I can shout from the rooftops how much I love these babies!!

...and share totally cute pictures of them!

In the meantime, I just had to share with you the cutest chubby cheeks in the world (L's) and the cutest baby boy (B) trying to chew his hands (we have lots of these pics...teething, maybe?)

Soon...hopefully soon they'll be home and I'll feel comfortable posting the whole pictures! Only then I'll be posting pictures of them with us!

We're Officially a Family of 7!

2010-08-23T21:50:00.006-04:00

"I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." - Psalm 116:1-2

We are so overjoyed to announce that our sweet little daughter is now officially ours!!! After a much longer wait than we ever would have anticipated, we have an adoption decree!!! Praise God!!!

We received word from our attorney that we have all of her paperwork and that she expects to get her passport this week!!! (Please pray that that will happen...the passport office is often one place where families experience further delays!) Our attorney even said that if all goes well, we may travel mid-October!

Um, hello...remember my last post!?!? We were really struggling with the wait and were beginning to wonder if they'd even be home in 2010. And now maybe October!?!?

Now, to travel in October will still take an act of God in my opinion because the US Embassy has been taking much longer than that, but an act of God is exactly what we've been praying for so we know that all things are possible with Him!!

We also received some updates about how they're doing developmentally. This is the first information we've had of this kind, so it was so great to hear a little more about these little people we love so much. I think I've read the information about 563 times. : ) B is supporting his head, rolling, sitting, very alert, and vocal. L is supporting her head, sitting, alert, and smiley. We haven't seen pictures yet, but we should get some soon. We've been told they are absolutely beautiful! I'm sure they have grown so much since our last photos!

We are just so excited, so relieved, and so encouraged. We're one GIANT step closer to bringing them home! Praise God!!!

Waiting

2010-08-16T22:16:00.002-04:00

I've been reading in the Psalms a lot lately. Do you know how much they talk about waiting!?! There is definitely some great purpose God has for waiting, but can I just say that from a human standpoint WAITING STINKS!!!!!

O.K. Deep breath. Try to be patient.

When we started this process we had to sign all these papers that said that we understood this process could hit many bumps and delays and could take up to 2 years to complete. But the optimist in me was thinking, "No way. Our kiddos will be home so much faster than that. We just follow these clearly laid out steps and while delays can definitely happen, they surely won't happen to us."

Oh, silly me.

I have to keep telling myself that in the scheme of things, especially in the adoption world, this is still moving relatively quickly. We just signed on in February for Pete's sake! Our dear friends just returned home from China with their daughter and they waited four years for her!

The problem is that when you're stuck in one spot, it just feels like you're going to be there forever. And the not knowing is so hard. If God could just speak to me and tell me, "Missy, don't fret. B & L will be home later than you'd hoped...they'll be ready for you on such and such date, but please trust me on the timing. I needed to do it this way so that X, Y, and Z could happen..." that could just make it so much easier. But faith just doesn't work that way.

So we wait. And we trust that God is in control and B & L will be home in His perfect timing.

We're still waiting for L's adoption decree. Poor little girl has had a delay at every single step in the process. We've been waiting at this particular step for over 11 weeks now. B's adoption decree took 6 1/2 weeks to get and hers has been expedited to try to catch up to his process. We're just praying for news soon!

I've been reading a really cool book lately that was given to me by a friend. It's called Reckless Faith. The author tells amazing stories of how God moves in their orphan ministry in Mexico. It's so very inspiring. Some of the stories I've read lately make me feel like maybe I put God in a box. My prayers for L's adoption process usually go something like this...

"God, we so long to have B & L home with us in their family where they belong. Will you please help L's paperwork process smoothly and quickly? Help us wait for your perfect timing, though. We trust you."

And I just wonder if I shouldn't be praying more along these lines...

"God, YOU are the Amazing One who moves mountains, turns water into wine, and works miracles! God, move mightily in a way that we know without a shadow of a doubt that it's you! Do something bigger than we could even ask or imagine! B & L are yours and you love them more than we do! We know you can do anything! God, we're just excited to see how you will move and will give you all the praise!!"

But even when I do ask for a miracle, I still pray...

"But Lord, even if you don't work in a big, unmistakable way, we still know that it is you working faithfully and deliberately to bring B & L home. We trust you no matter what."

I'm just waiting now to see how He answers my cries to Him. I know He will. And while it may not be the way I want Him to or in my time frame, I know His way is always best.

Praise God!

2010-07-27T15:33:00.003-04:00

Our little girl is back at her foster home. She's out of the hospital! She's still on meds, so please keep praying, but she's definitely better! For that, we praise the Lord!

Now if we can just get her home...

Update on Sick Baby

2010-07-26T16:48:00.003-04:00

Thank you so much for all your phone calls, emails, hugs, and especially your prayers. It is so very hard with a sick child halfway across the world. We have definitely felt loved and supported, though, so thank you for helping us through this.

We did hear last night that she had been hospitalized, most likely due to dehydration. I don't know exactly how that makes me feel. I'm sad and discouraged that she's that sick that she needs to be hospitalized, but also grateful and relieved to know that she's getting great care. She is responding to meds, though, and fighting well and they're hoping that she can go home today. Please pray that God will continue to heal her body! We thank Him for taking care of her and answering our prayers thus far!

Please also pray for her adoption process. I realize that as a whole this adoption is happening quickly, but when you're stuck in one spot it sure doesn't feel that way. We still don't have her adoption decree. After we have that, we have to wait 30 days for a certificate of non-appeal (essentially saying that no one challenged the adoption). Then we can apply for her passport. After we get her passport, we will schedule a drop-off appointment with the US Embassy and several weeks after that, our friends there will do the interview at the US Embassy for us. We won't travel to get them until all of the paperwork is ready. My guess is at this point that our best case scenario is the end of October.

This just worries me some because our little guy is totally ready to come home. We have his passport and everything. I just don't want him to get sick while he waits. We're looking into the possibility that he could come home earlier, but it doesn't look likely. We think we'd have to start the entire process with USCIS all over again for our little girl - that they would be treated as two separate adoptions. That would delay our daughter's coming home too much so we wouldn't want to do that.

Please just pray for our kiddos' health and safety and for God to just move this paperwork through and bring them home soon. I can't even tell you how ready we are to have them home with us.

Sick Baby...Please Pray

2010-07-23T19:43:00.003-04:00

Okay, I know I just posted that I'm wanting to be pretty private about our adoption online, but I really need to share something.

I guess I need to give you a little background first just because I've never even announced this on my blog, but we have not only our son waiting for us, but also a daughter now, too. The first little boy did end up to be unavailable. He will forever hold a spot in our hearts, but we will likely never know what has happened to him. Honestly, I shudder to think about it because I really don't know how a little baby could survive in the place he was in, but I know that God is good and that He has a plan for all of us. I do pray for a good life for the sweet little guy and my hope is that he has a biological family member caring for him now.

A few weeks later we accepted a referral of an itty-bitty baby girl, who is just a few weeks younger than our son. We went through quite a trial waiting for okay for her and starting her process, but after about one month she was finally moved out of the orphanage and into the same loving foster home as her soon-to-be brother. We saw a picture of her and ohmygoodness is she ever gorgeous.

But right now she needs our prayers. We got word today that she is quite sick and is being treated for malaria and typhoid. Honestly, this scares the poo out of me. She may be a world away and I know that I have never held her in my own arms or kissed her sweet face, but she is my baby girl. She is precious and innocent and sweet and adorable and all things good in the world but tonight she is sick and may be fighting for her life.

Will you please pray for her? Pray for healing for her little body. Pray for strength and wisdom for her foster mama. Pray for peace for us. It is so very hard to know that you have a sick child but you can't do anything to help her.

Well, that's not true.

We can pray. And praying we are, believeyoume. We're just trusting God right now to care for her for us. And while I desperately long to hold her and tell her mommy loves her and that she'll be okay, I know that she's in His arms and being cared for by Him.

Prayer is a great thing and very powerful. Thanks for joining with us in it.

Cha-Ching!

2010-07-15T14:46:00.002-04:00

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who took the time to vote for OFA in the Chase Community Giving grant program! We won the $20,000 gift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, just think of all the formula, beans, rice, and medicine $20,000 will buy!!! There will be food for beyond hungry children and medicine for kiddos sick with completely preventable diseases, but most of all there will be hope.

And hope is priceless.

I know I already said it, but I can't say it enough. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you!!!!

Please vote!

2010-07-12T13:13:00.002-04:00

I know it has been forever again since I've blogged. Do you know how many draft posts I have going right now!?! I am just having the hardest time knowing what to say and what to keep private (for security purposes) about our adoption! Thus, I've ended up saying nothing at all.

But....here's something I CAN say. Please vote in the Chase Community Giving competition on Facebook. They are giving away a lot of money to the top 200 charities with the most votes. Right now, Our Family Adoptions (the awesome organization that is helping us bring our kiddos home) is in the top 200 and is eligible for a$20,000 grant to feed, educate, clothe, and care for the orphans left behind in Congo! But, we have to stay there!!! Voting ends TONIGHT at midnight. Please, please, please take just one minute to:

1) Go vote for Our Family Adoptions (click the link above - it's right under my header) - you have to allow, like, and vote
2) Share on your wall that you voted and encourage (beg, plead if necessary!) your friends to do the same
3) Enter to win some cool goodies from Congo on my friend, Megan's blog - she will do a drawing to give them away to someone who has voted

and if you're really gung-ho (and who wouldn't be!?!? I mean, it's orphans who SO desperately need us!!!!), you can also:

4) vote for 19 other charities to earn gift votes - you'll earn one after five total votes and one after 20
5) send those gift votes to someone you know will use them TODAY (but please don't send them to me - I've already used my maximum)
6) call, email, private message on facebook, tweet, text, whatever it takes your friends and loved ones to ask them to vote for OFA.

We are sooooo close, you guys. I just couldn't stand it if we lost by a handful of votes at this point!!

EVERY vote counts! Please vote TODAY!!!!!

Thank you!!!!!

We'll Take Two, Please

2010-05-01T09:11:00.005-04:00

Remember my post about needing to look for a new vehicle?

I have spent hours researching SUVs, but also narrow car seats. I can't tell you how many google searches I've done on "narrow car seats," "15 inch booster," "fit three car seats in a town and country," etc. etc. Seriously. I'm a nut.

Here's the maddening thing, though. I'd find one place that would say a particular car seat or booster was 15" wide and I'd get all excited, but then find the exact same car seat on a different website and it would say it was 20" wide. Um, hello. That's quite a difference.

As you saw earlier, we had given up on thinking we could fit three car seats across. But then came a new car commercial for Chrysler. They specifically mention in it that if you have five kiddos to haul around, their minivan is for you.

What!?! Am I missing something here??? I am the mom with five kiddos to haul around, but so far my Town and Country isn't working.

That gave us hope again, though, that maybe we could find car seats that are narrow enough. So for our exciting Friday night out, we headed to some of those giant baby stores. Love them, yet hate them, too. They're just so overwhelming. I saw a pregnant first time mama with the registry gun last night with a look on her face that said get me out of here. I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed. I'd just like to sit my big 'ol pregnant behind down on one of those cozy gliders.

Oh girl, I was so there seven plus years ago. Seems like yesterday.

Anyways...our car seat search. Babies R Us was not so helpful this time around. We went there first and felt pretty discouraged. But Buy Buy Baby? They're my new best friend. They had one of the car seats I've been researching like crazy and they let us take two of them out to our van to try them to see if they will fit. Praise God, they did!!!! It is going to be rather tight back there, and Josh may have a heck of a time getting his seat belt actually buckled, but they fit!!!! And they might have been $269 EACH, but of course I had coupons and when you compare $460ish to $28,000ish, it's a total no brainer!

So we're now the proud owners of two of these fabulous car seats:

And we get to keep our minivan! Hooray!!

I'm sure that we'll be looking for a larger vehicle a couple of years from now since our kiddos are only going to keep getting bigger and bigger. But I'm glad that it doesn't have to be in the same year that we're incurring plenty of costs already. Plus, I think it will be much easier to have an SUV when the kids are a little bit bigger. I sure wasn't looking forward to crawling over the second row of seats to somehow buckle in the girls in the back! Or, for that matter, lifting an infant carrier with a baby in it up and over into the middle of the SUV.

Hubby, though? I think he's kind of sad we're not going to be getting a truck. I mean, he's happy that we don't have to spend all the money now, but he's much more of a truck/SUV guy than a minivan guy. Someday, babe. Someday.

Going Private

2010-04-26T23:17:00.002-04:00

Well, as you can tell, I've joined the club. Those of you who follow several Congo adoption blogs probably noticed that we all disappeared within a few days of each other. Those of you who just know me personally probably wondered why in the world you couldn't read my blog anymore! I'm so sorry for the sudden departure! We were advised by our attorney to be super cautious about what we say about our adoption in a public setting.

I'll be honest. I felt kind of sad about it. With a blog, I felt like I could be a voice for all of the orphans in Congo. I could help raise awareness and maybe, just maybe, spur someone on to action. And it was working! My little blog was generating 300 - 400 hits per week! I know, I know...in the blogosphere that's not that many, but it was exciting to me! That's several hundred people who may not have ever thought twice about Congo or the people there.

But at the same time, the warnings to go private had me freaked out a bit, too. I knew child trafficking could be an issue. And I worried a little, too, about a ransom situation. Beyond that, though, I wasn't sure if there was a specific concern or what was prompting this recommendation.

My ultimate conclusion? Better safe than sorry. I took the blog down right away, because ultimately I do not care to do anything that would put Blake or any other Congolese children or adoptive families in any danger.

We spoke with our attorney last night, though, and she put some of our fears at ease. The main reason for the recommendation that we go private was just that while our adoption is being processed, it is best to not have our information fall into the wrong hands. A blog is like a newspaper for the world to read, and anyone looking for a bribe, or just to cause trouble, could read it.

We did talk about the risk of danger, too, and her point was that Congo has been an unstable country for years with lots of extreme violence. There has been a recent case where some Red Cross workers were kidnapped (and thankfully, released) which caught the west's attention. Due to that, there's been more travel warnings posted lately. As our attorney pointed out, though, millions of innocent people have unfortunately died in recent years. It's completely wrong that the west doesn't want to pay attention until there are Red Cross workers involved. What about the MILLIONS of innocent victims who have lost their lives in the last fifteen years? Does no one care about them!?!?

Yes!! Yes, there are people who care!! And most importantly, God cares!!!

So yes, I'm being more careful with my blog. I want to protect our son and all of the other children in Congo. But I still feel so torn because I want the world to know that the people of Congo need us.

The women there who are violently raped and left for dead need us.

The people who have fled to a refugee camp to try to find safety, in spite of the fact that there aren't enough resources there to care for everyone, need us.

The boys around Josh's age who are being forced to pick up a machine gun and terrorize innocent people need us.

The families just trying to survive and live their lives in peace need us.

The babies, the children, the innocent who have no one to love them...I'm in tears thinking about it. They're hungry. They're scared. They're sick with completely preventable diseases. They need us.

They need us to be Jesus' hands and feet. They need us to love them. They need us to care.

I can't tell the world anymore. But I can tell you. I just did. And maybe you can tell someone else. And slowly but surely maybe we can make a difference.

***(insert pause here, while I take a deep breath)***

Our attorney told us that it is possible our adoption will take longer as there may be some additional hoops to jump through, but she does not feel at this point we have any reason to worry that we won't be able to get our children, or even safely travel to get them.

This entire adoption journey is a leap of faith for us. All this recent news is just one more way that we'll need to trust that God is in control and that He will work out all of the details in His perfect time!

So, welcome to my private blog. I'm glad to have you on this journey with us. I'm thankful for your prayers and your support for our family... and also for the people of Congo.

While I would love for you to share with others things that you learn about what's happening in Congo, I would ask that you please not repost any of our personal information found here (especially about our adoption) without our permission. Thank you!

Like Christmas in April

2010-04-17T22:50:00.001-04:00

There really is nothing better as a waiting adoptive parent than to get new pics of your child! There's a group in Congo now finalizing three adoptions and I knew that our attorney's husband (their escort) would be visiting Blake while they were there. Our attorney told us the other day that he visited Blake and delivered 50 lbs of formula and baby supplies, but we didn't think we would see pictures until he returned to the States.

Imagine our surprise then when we returned from our interracial adoption training today to see new pics in our inbox!!!!

Oh. My. Goodness. I just stared at those pictures for an insanely long amount of time - over and over again, inspecting every single detail. Admiring his sweet little hands and face. Worrying because his belly seems big (it has since dawned on me that they use cloth diapers, which I'm not used to. He's just an itty bitty guy in a giant cloth diaper - that would easily explain the big belly!)

As I sat there studying the pictures, I alternated between really big grins and tears. I'm so touched by seeing the genuine love and care in the face of (who I'm assuming is) his foster mama. Grateful doesn't even come close to explaining what I feel for her and her family for caring for Blake while we wait to bring him home. And my baby? I cannot wait to hold him in my arms and kiss his sweet, sweet face.

He's so beautiful, so tiny, so precious, so helpless. So perfect. So very loved.

The "Perfect" Ride!

2010-04-17T10:00:00.001-04:00

After my post about our search for a new vehicle, we were sent this by a friend. Don't you think it'd be PERFECT!?!?!?

I especially love that it's called the Kool Bus! (Does it really need the sign? It kind of speaks for itself, don't you think!?!) And if you know me personally, you know that nothing really describes me better than, "Bad to the bone." hahaha!!! : )

Can't you just see us pulling up to soccer and baseball practices, the grocery store, swim lessons, and church in it!?!?

Crack. Me. Up.

It is "kool" and all, but I think we'll keep searching!

Driving Along In My Automobile

2010-04-16T15:28:00.000-04:00

As a soon-to-be family of 7, we're currently hunting for a new vehicle. I have a Chrysler Town & Country minivan right now that I love, but it unfortunately just won't fit us all. Believe me, we've tried. We just don't think Josh will enjoy riding with one cheek on the seat and one in the cup holder.

So we're checking all sorts of websites (autotrader.com, cars.com, carmax.com, ebay.com, and craigslist.com) and checking local car lots for a vehicle that is large enough to fit us all, yet manageable, and at least a little bit stylish. And because of our commitment to stay out of debt, we're paying for the car outright, which means we're most likely buying a "previously owned" or "new to us" car. Here's the four we seem to have narrowed the list down to:

Ford Expedition EL

Cadillac Escalade ESV

Chevy Suburban

GMC Yukon XL

Anyone have any feedback on any of these? Love 'em? Hate 'em? I'm so nervous about driving something so huge, but I really have no choice. Because I'll probably need a double stroller with me on a regular basis and we like to travel, we want something that has some storage space, in addition to being able to seat our whole family safely.

And if anyone knows of someone who's wanting to sell one of these lovely SUV's, or even if they want to give one away (hey, a girl can dream!), please contact us! With all the expenses we have coming up (GULP) to complete two international adoptions, buy a new vehicle, get a new bunk bed and mattresses for the girls, and purchase lots of extra baby supplies, we'd like to be as wise as we can with the resources God has blessed us with! We know He has called us to this, and we know He will provide, it's just when you look at it all on paper that it seems crazy!

Oh, and please pray for us as we shop. No offense, but used car salesmen can sometimes be difficult. We were on a lot last night and about six of them stood in the middle of the road so we had no option but to stop our car to talk to them. We'd really love to find an honest, trustworthy one to work with!

What's In a Name?

2010-04-15T23:40:00.004-04:00

Naming a child is not usually easy. Well, I guess I really can't say that. Hubby and I talked about baby names on our second date (almost 14 years ago!) and we chose Josh and Sarah. I know, I know. That's weird. So those, actually, were quite easy choices. Megan's name was not as easy to choose, and choosing a name for our new little guy hasn't been the easiest either. I've had many people ask about our little guy's name, so I thought I'd share it and how we got to it.

I am a total planner. I have a list (and most likely a spreadsheet to go with it) for just about everything. Seriously. I'm that lady. So it goes without saying that as we've talked about names over the past couple of months, if there was one we liked even a little, it went on a master list I had. One of these names was one that I've loved forever, but Hubby wasn't quite as sure. As I read through the big list, I got to that one and looked at him and said, "I'm assuming you don't want ***** on the short list?" And he surprised me by saying it was fine to put it on the short list. Love that man! : )

Well, we ended up with four names on our short list and I looked up the meanings of each of the names. When I looked up this particular name that I've always loved, it showed its meaning as "dark, bright." Our first thought was that that seemed contradictory, but then it dawned on us. He has this beautiful dark hair, eyes, and skin, AND he's such a bright spot in our lives! (Not to mention that finding bright spots is my blog title!!) It just felt perfect for our sweet little man.

That name is Blake.

Love it!

Now onto the middle name...

We not only wanted him to have a Congolese middle name but we also found out that he had to have a Congolese name as part of his name. So, we began looking for names in Swahili or Lingala. Lingala names aren't exactly easy to find. We did find two that we liked in Swahili, but when we sent them on, we were told that those particular names aren't used in Congo. Try #2. We found a few more Swahili and African names, and also included some French names on the list. Nope. Those wouldn't work either. We finally found a Bible Table of Contents in Lingala and really liked the Lingala version of Isaiah, which is Yisaya. We sent the name off to our attorney and she thought it sounded nice. Only then we found out that he has a name they've been calling him and were asked if we could include that name. We were first sent us two names. The second one we weren't crazy about, but we really did like the one they've been calling him, and the meaning is very cool. It's Omole (we think it's pronounced oh-MOLE-ay), which means "His choice." We completely feel like God has brought us all together, and that He chose us for each other. That name was perfect, too!

So that's how we came upon his name. Blake Omole it is. Our (beautiful!) dark, bright spot, who was chosen by God. We love it, and we love him!!

Journey Friends

2010-04-14T23:35:00.000-04:00

This adoption journey is exactly that. A journey.

It's a journey filled with ups and downs and joys and stresses different from anything I've known up to this point in my life. A journey where I'm meeting people along the way that I'd otherwise never have gotten to know. I've said it before and I'll say it again that so many adoptive families are just plain awesome. I am just so very encouraged by adoptive families I personally know, but also by people I've never met, only having talked by phone or even only maybe by following their blogs. I just think it's really cool how God brings people into your life and I'm grateful for the people he's brought to my path through our adoption.

Tonight I had a meeting with a group of moms who all live within 30 minutes of me or so and are all adopting from Congo!!! Is that not amazing!?! I was so encouraged to hear their stories and see the pictures of their beautiful children and know that we are not alone on this journey. I count it a true blessing to have met them tonight and to be able to share in their joys and fears and walk on this journey with them.

Just feeling blessed.

In other adoption news, we don't have any further word on the one-month old. We are still waiting. Hubby and I are feeling more and more, though, like this may not happen and we are feeling our hearts open more to a different child instead. Not that we're closing the door, because if in fact he is still available, we would LOVE to be his Mommy and Daddy. We are just realistically coming to terms with the fact that the likeliness of that happening is becoming less every day. I think no matter what happens, though, there will forever be a spot in my heart for him, wondering about his life and praying for God's blessings for him.

At the same time, and in happier news, I am falling more and more in love every day with the little guy we know will be ours. I look at his picture about 1,000 times throughout the day and (confession time) may be caught from time to time talking to him via his picture. No, I'm not crazy! I promise! I just have this innate desire to hold him, kiss him, and be his mother. I can't do that when I'm halfway around the world, folks! This mama is desperate! : )

Our home study is written and we're just awaiting approval and edits from everyone who needs to see it. We've been working on our dossier, too, and I feel like we're making really good progress. My hope is that we would be finished with all of our paperwork by this time next week. Then the real waiting begins! We have plenty to do, though, to keep us busy while we wait! We'll move Megan in with Sarah, work on the nursery, shop for a new car that will fit our family of 7, buy any new baby gear that we'll need (if we have two children relatively close in age we'll need two of most of the baby gear), and hopefully have occasional updates about our precious ones in Congo. But we'll also be enjoying our family as it is now. We do not care to wish away any time together, even though our hearts long for our family to be completed.

This journey sure is a crazy, but wonderful one. I'm so grateful God has us on it and is guiding us through it all! Thanks for following along! (Oh, and if you're following, I'd love for you to let me know! Just click over on the right to become a follower! There's no pressure, it's just fun to know there are actual people who read along.) : )

Breaking the Silence

2010-04-08T23:15:00.002-04:00

Have you noticed I've been silent the last couple of weeks? Well, it was certainly not because of a lack of excitement! It's been an INSANE two weeks!! It was more because of a concern for privacy for our family and so many unknowns it wasn't even funny.

Praise God, though, things are coming together and I feel like I can actually update with real live news! Just as a disclaimer, there have been other things going on the past couple of weeks that I could have (and should have!) posted about like Josh's 7th birthday and his cool ninja party, some crazy terrible news that was actually covered in the States about extreme violence in Congo (you can read about it here and here from some awesome bloggers who share not only what happened but what YOU can do about it), and hubby's birthday. But for some reason, when I couldn't write about the adoption, I found it hard to write about anything. Period.

So...would you like to know what all is going on in our home?

Well, I alluded to the fact in a previous post that one of us had some medical issues that needed to be sorted out. It was me. I had some weird results from the routine adoption physical which led to 7...count 'em 7! additional trips to a doctor including two specialists. I just had another trip to a specialist today and got the final verdict....

I'm completely healthy!

Praise God for that!!! Of course, I would have preferred that I not be poked, prodded, and examined quite so thoroughly but it's a wonderful feeling to get a clean bill of health and to be able to move forward with our adoption instead of changing the theme of this blog to dealing with some sort of medical crisis! God is faithful, and I know that no matter what my test results were, He would be with us, guiding us, but I sure am grateful that I am healthy!

So onto much more exciting happenings....adoption news! We were returning home from my brother and sister in law's house 12 days ago and were both on our cell phones talking to our parents. Hubby had a call waiting beep on his and I could tell by the nature of his voice that it wasn't one of his buddies. My first thought was that it was our lawyer through OFA and she had a referral.

Guess what? It was our lawyer and she had a referral!!!

Ohmygoodness. We were so floored! Our home study wasn't even done yet! She was calling, though, because it was really a matter of life and death. She was calling about a tiny one month old baby boy who needed to be moved from the orphanage into foster care, but couldn't be moved until he had a family.

Our prayer has always been that if God placed a baby on our doorstep, we wanted to be available. We had no picture, no medical information, really very little knowledge about him, but we felt like he was a baby who had been placed on our doorstep. In faith, we said yes we'd love to have him as part of our family!!

Well, unfortunately, days went by with no word that he'd been moved from the orphanage into foster care. The commune (Congo's equivalent of like a town hall/gov't center) had not signed off for his adoption. At this point, we believed that it'd just be a few more days and then we'd have either their approval or find out that they had located a relative who could take him.

Here's where our adoption story got even crazier. Our lawyer called again with ANOTHER referral! While the commune had not signed for this first baby, there was an 8 day old little boy who also needed a family and they had signed for him. We actually received a picture of him the day after we learned about him.

But here's the thing...while we were wanting to adopt two kiddos, we didn't think we could adopt two non-biologically related children less than nine months apart in age. (It's called artificial twinning and most of the adoption world does not recommend it.) How could we choose between the two boys!?!? After a sleepless night, much discussion and prayer, and many tears shed by me, we just really felt God calling us to be open to BOTH of these boys. I mean, when you look back at the fact that He so clearly led us to Congo and then opened our hearts to two children instead of one, and now six short weeks later we had two referrals of sweet little guys who desperately needed a family?? How could we not believe that He was still leading us!?! After a tearful call to our social worker explaining the situation to her, she agreed that it is certainly a unique situation and she was not going to stand in our way. She would support us if we wanted to adopt both of them.

We called our lawyer back the morning after we had received the picture and said that yes, we'd love to have that little guy as part of our family, too!

OH. MY. GOODNESS!!! So very exciting! TWO itty bitty boys!!

However, in the meantime we've learned that the commune is still not prepared to sign for the one-month old. They've told our contact there they'd like to wait a couple of months. We believe they either know someone who witnessed his abandonment or have an idea of who his family is. So we do not know if this little guy will join our family or not. Our prayer is that a decision be made by the commune soon, though. If he has family there that wants him, that is wonderful! But if he doesn't, he needs a family so that he can get out of the orphanage and into a foster home while the paperwork is processing. We are taking it day by day, but our lawyer has encouraged us to be open to whatever child needs us and fits in our family. We don't have a lot of time to wait as our US paperwork will hopefully be submitted within a week or so and our dossier will be sent to Congo soon after that. She said that we need to keep the two children processing within a couple of weeks of each other. We don't want to travel twice!

So, we know at least one sweet little (now two-week old) boy who will be joining our family hopefully in the next four to six months. We have another little boy who has also stolen part of our hearts, but are not sure if he will be joining our family or not.

Okay...I've held off long enough. Would you like to meet our little guy?? Here's the referral picture we received...

The email we received (translated from French) said that it was unfortunately a bad picture; he's a cute baby. We think it's pretty tough to get a good read on what he looks like from this picture, but isn't he just precious!?! Those big brown eyes...awww!!!!

We did get notice this week that he was moved to foster care and is safe and sound! Praise God!!There's a group going over there right now to complete a few adoptions (so exciting!!!) and we've been told that we'll get some new and better pictures of our little guy. I can't wait!!!

Growing In My Heart

2010-03-21T09:11:00.000-04:00

Before we started the adoption process, there were all sorts of fears I had. Okay, if I'm being truly honest, I still have fears. But I really do feel them melting away.

One of my biggest fears was that I wouldn't love an adopted child the same way I love my biological children. Now everyone we've ever talked with who has a biological child and an adopted child says that they had the same fear and that of course you do love them the same. It's a hard concept to understand, though, before they're here with you.

I remember being pregnant with Sarah, wondering how I could possibly love another little person like I loved my Josh. But I reasoned that she's a girl, so it will feel different, and in that situation, different could equal the same. And you know what? Of course I feel the same about Sarah that I do about Josh.

Then came a pregnancy with Megan. This time I had a boy and a girl. Could I love Megan the same as I loved both of them? Again, of course...yes!! The way God grows mommy hearts is truly amazing. With each child, my heart seemed to grow just the right amount to fill it up.

This time my babies aren't growing in my tummy, but I definitely feel them growing in my heart.

While I wait to find out who my two new babies are, I really do feel my heart expanding and I already feel so much love for these little people I've never even met. I watch Gotcha Day videos on YouTube and cry like I would when I'd watch A Baby Story when I was pregnant. I imagine what it will be like when Hubby flies halfway around the world and calls me to tell me he's got them. I just think I'll be so emotional!! And when I think about being at the airport to see them, and hold them, and kiss them for the first time? I really can't even imagine what that moment will feel like. The suspense while I wait for them to get through that gate will be excruciating!! I know they may not feel comfortable with me at first, and I know I don't want to bawl like a baby and scare them, but I just know it will be such a special day with so many emotions swirling around.

I just love how God is changing my heart more and more each day. My fears are melting and in its place is love. I'd definitely choose love any day over fear. It feels much better.

Poking, Prodding, and Chatting

2010-03-17T22:48:00.005-04:00

We've had a couple of busy days in "getting ready for adoption" land.

Yesterday all five of us had our physicals. Close your eyes and just picture - wait, what am I thinking? If you close your eyes, you can't read what I'm saying. Anyways...just do your best to picture five people, a nurse, and a doctor in a maybe 9 x 9 room. Yeah, a little crazy. Now just remember that three of those people are under 4' tall and aren't overly fond of the fact that they're at the doctor's office. Poor Megan started crying when we walked by the scale. Not sure what the scale ever did to her, but whatever it was, it must have been bad.

Remember what I said about the TB tests? I was worried about how they'd go. Josh decided we should go oldest to youngest, so Mommy and Daddy went first and then it was his turn. I could tell he wanted to be brave, but he was so nervous. Poor kid had to be poked a couple of times because he was writhing around so much. By the end, he was SCREAMING. And Megan was scared just from watching and was sobbing. Sarah went next and hopped up there brave as could be. She did start crying rather loudly though once the needle actually went in. And Josh and Megan were still crying then, too.

All 3 of them crying at once.

Loudly.

In a 9 x 9ish room.

Fun? Mmm...not exactly.

My poor kiddos. The poor nurse who had to work through the screaming. The poor people waiting in the waiting room. It's really no fun having to pin your children to the examining table and watch them scream and cry, completely helpless, while they look at you to make it all stop.

I thought it was cute that they all were so proud of themselves after the fact. They commented that it wasn't fun, but that they were glad to do it for our new babies. Whew. I'm just glad it's done. Now we just can't forget to go back to have the tests read. If we miss the 48 - 72 hour window, the test has to be redone. Um, no thank you.

*On a more serious note, we did have one strange health thing come up for one of us. We're currently attempting to treat it, but further testing may be needed if this doesn't work. Will you just pray with us that it will be healed by this treatment and that it will not be anything serious? Thanks!*

And then today, we met with our social worker for the first time. She is so super nice and really easy to talk to. She first asked the kids a few questions. Sarah, unfortunately wasn't feeling well (she has an ear infection) so she didn't really have anything to say. Megan ran around singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star for her. When asked about what he likes about being a big brother, Josh said that he, "loves to play with his sisters" and that he's "excited to have a little brother because my whole life I've been longing for a brother...Whatever longing means." We grinned and our social worker asked him what he thought longing means. He said, "Wanting. I heard that somewhere." Too cute.

Hubby and the kids went upstairs after a little while and I had my individual interview with her. We just talked about my childhood, my family, my educational and professional background, and my life as a stay-at-home/homeschooling mom. Hubby will do his individual interview next and then we'll do the home tour and couples interview.

I'm glad we're moving along well. I had been nervous about the whole process, just not really knowing what to expect. Everyone kept assuring me that it's nothing nerve wracking or scary, just time consuming. And actually helpful.

While we're not finished with everything yet, I'd say I'd have to agree.

Happy Birthday, Megan!

2010-03-14T21:27:00.008-04:00

There are some things in your life you just will never forget as long as you live. Two years ago today was one of those moments in my life. My sweet baby Megan breathed her first breath, cried her first cry, and slept in my arms for the first time.

It's so cliche, but time really does just fly by. Especially when you're having fun.

I'm so grateful for Megan. She is such a sweet and silly little girl and is such a blessing to our family. I'm so glad God chose us to be her parents! I think back to when Hubby and I were dating and how we'd talk about the family we'd like to have one day - two kids, maybe three if the first two were the same gender. Ha! God had much better things in store for us!! We had our two, but still didn't feel "done." He blessed us with our Megs, and now we're expecting two more! Having five little ones was certainly not our original plan, but I am so grateful for all of our blessings!

Megan, I know that our family would not be complete without you. Your joy is contagious, your cheesy grin is infectious, and your snuggles warm all of our hearts. I love watching you grow and learn and you surprise us every day by new things you've picked up on without us realizing it. Some day I'll look back and smile when I think of the dozens of times a day you want to share a knock knock joke that you've made up. Hearing you sing Jesus Loves Me (interrupted by your made up Precious, Precious, Precious song) has to be one of the most adorable things on the planet, maybe second only to your big eyes asking me to dance with you one more time before naptime. And then when you're all snuggly cute and you want to kiss our cheeks over and over and over again? Completely precious. You're growing up more and more every day and I don't want to take for granted one wonderful moment with you. I love you so very much and am so blessed to be your Mommy. Happy Birthday, Megan! I'll never stop loving you!

Silly, Impatient Me

2010-03-12T15:41:00.004-05:00

I knew that would happen. As soon as I shared with you all how I'm not good at waiting for things, the very thing I was waiting for would happen.

I had a call today from our social worker! And guess what? I've met her before! Such a small little world! I don't know her well by any means, but it's comforting to me that it's someone I've at least met before. Even though many people have told us not to stress about the home visit, I had in my mind a picture of some really mean lady grilling us about every little detail of our lives! I know...I know...I worry too much.

The good news is that we've got all of our appointments scheduled. The only thing is that we won't finish our meetings until the 28th. She said it would take about two weeks after that for her to write the report, and that we should allow about one week for editing. So when you do the math, it's about April 19th before we're done with the homestudy process.

We would have liked for it all to move a little more quickly, but we are trusting that it's all in God's hands and it's all happening in His perfect timing!

Hurrying Up and Waiting in our Animal House

2010-03-11T22:15:00.001-05:00

Last week was spent rushing around gathering financials and filling out paperwork. We were so excited when we sent off our packet (via email) on Tuesday. We were told that depending on our schedule and flexibility, we may have our home visit within a week.

Well, here it is late Thursday night and we've heard nothing yet.

I'm trying so hard to be patient. I know that they have to get through our paperwork first. I know that they're probably really busy. I know that it really will all happen in God's perfect timing.

But ohmygosh, every time the phone rings I wonder if it's going to be our social worker! And if I'm this crazed now, I seriously can't imagine what I'll be like when I'm expecting the phone to ring with a referral!!

OK, breathe. It'll happen. It really will. I guess God just needs me to learn a little bit more about patience first, huh? : )

So in other news, we had a first around our house today...

I have two words for you. Food. Fight.

Only it wasn't on Animal House. It was in my house! My mom called during lunchtime and while I was finishing my lunch and chatting with her I started the dishes ('cause you know...that's the way we multitasking moms work!) I was bending down to put a dish in the dishwasher, chatting away with my mom when I saw something hit the ground next to me. Bread.

Oh no they didn't.

Josh, Sarah, and Megan were all tearing apart their sandwiches and tossing them at each other. And they were totally cracking up while doing it.

And I couldn't help but thinking for a moment (and my mom said it, so I know she was thinking it also)...we're adding two more!!

Now of course, the kids and I had a conversation about how throwing food is absolutely not allowed, and I in no way let on to them that there was anything okay about the event. But, I will tell you that the accompanying laughter during the "fight" was pretty cute.

And while I'm sure that adding two more will only add to the craziness at times (and yes, I'm human...there are times that I want to shut myself in the pantry to get away from the noise), I love the sound of life that fills our home. Life, laughter, and love. And I will only love it that much more when there's two more little gigglers added to the mix.

So while I'm waiting for that phone to ring, there's certainly no loss for noise. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, just maybe without the flying food.

It's Off!!!

2010-03-09T16:10:00.003-05:00

Our mongo stack of paperwork (well, this round of it, anyways!) is finished!!!!

Hubby just sent all of it via email to our home study provider! Whoohooo!!!! Here's what all was included:

Birth certificates
Marriage license
Hubby's autobiography
My autobiography
Hubby's "Me As A Person" (two-page list of questions about yourself)
My "Me As A Person"
Our Transracial/Transcultural inventory (one-page list of questions)
Financial statement
Most recent tax information
Releases for criminal background/sex and violent offender registry checks (for me and Hubby)
Releases for Child Protective Services history checks (for all five of us)

The way our home study provider works is that we are not assigned an individual social worker until after this paperwork stage is done. So now, we'll be assigned with the social worker who will do our home visit and put together our final home study document. I talked with the supervisor this morning and she said depending on how flexible our schedule is, we may have our home visit within a week or so!!!

So, the remaining steps (as I understand them...and I could totally be missing something!):

Medical exams (including TB tests) for all five of us - scheduled for next week
Blood work and urinalysis for me and Hubby - scheduled for this week
Employment letter (they get this for us from Hubby's employer)
4 Reference letters (they get these from the references we gave them)
Local Police and Sheriff record check (we have to go to our county sheriff's office and request something that states we do not have a record.)
The home visit (which we've been told will take a big part of one day)

That's it! We just have to wait for all of our approvals and then once our home visit takes place, she said it would take a couple of weeks for our social worker to put it all together. They will send us and OFA a draft, we make any necessary changes, and then we're ready to put together our I600A (petition to US Gov't to allow us to adopt)! After that's done, we start putting together our dossier (documents necessary to send to Congo) and wait for our referral!

So like I said, this is just the first round of paperwork, but I'm glad we're on our way!!

We're coming, babies!!! Mommy and Daddy love you so much and can't wait for you to be home with us!!!

Excited about Poo

2010-03-09T14:39:00.004-05:00

I realize that some of my readers don't know us personally and read along to follow our adoption journey, but those of you who read and do know us personally may remember how much I hate potty training.

I mean HATE!!

HATE WITH A PASSION!!!!

Hands down, potty training is the WORST part of parenting!

Sorry...I don't hide my feelings well. : )

After spending months, maybe even more than a year trying to get Josh and Sarah to not only pee in the potty, but also go poo poo there, guess what???

Little Megan just pooped IN THE POTTY!!!!

She came up to me with a diaper in hand and asked, "Mommy, change my diaper?"

I asked her if she had gone poo poo and she said no. I asked her if she needed to go poo poo and she said yes. I asked her if she wanted to go in her potty and she said yes. So I took off her diaper for her and she wandered in there. I have to admit, I didn't think it would happen (we've had lots of false alarms before) so I just went about my work. A minute later, though, Sarah called, "Mommy, Megan went poo poo!"

And by golly, she really had! And lots of it! (I thought about taking a picture, but didn't really think you'd all enjoy that! You can thank me later.) So we jumped up and down and did the happy dance - all four of us in our little downstairs bathroom. That had to have been a funny sight!

We haven't started any official potty training yet with her. In fact, the first time she ever pee peed in the potty was last Friday night when she suckered our neighbor into taking her potty. I couldn't believe it! She did it again on Sunday for us. This was only the third time in her whole life that she's used the potty and it was for #2!!! Unbelievable!!!

Way to go, Megs!!! Now if you'd just like to complete this little potty training bit this easily, I'll be the happiest little mommy in the neighborhood.

The Roller Coaster Has Started

2010-03-07T23:01:00.006-05:00

If you would have asked me how I felt about all of this adoption stuff on Friday, it wouldn't have been good. I was feeling really overwhelmed by the process, scared about the attachment/bonding issues, and just really nervous about the whole thing. (Yes, I am human!) I had a mound of paperwork that we still hadn't been able to start yet, and lots of guilt that we hadn't gotten to it yet.

Not fun.

But thankfully God provided a beautiful afternoon and we were able to get outside and play for the first time in months. The moment I put Megan in the swing and pushed her she just started cracking up. Between hearing her laugh, watching my big kids run around with all their friends in the neighborhood, and getting some good old fashioned sunshine and fresh air, I began to feel much better.

I talked through my fears and concerns with one of my dearest friends who has been through this home study process, and she was so supportive and encouraging. She understood my feelings and fears, but encouraged me to take them to the Lord and just to continue to trust Him through this process. We do completely believe He's led us thus far, and so now it's only a matter of continuing onto the next step. One step at a time...

I just think it's kind of a strange feeling that with an adoption you continually have lists of things to do, and it almost feels like with every step of the process you're choosing over and over that this is what you want. When you are pregnant biologically, there's no turning back! I don't really think it's a bad thing that you follow all these steps and have all these opportunities for examination, it's just different from what I've previously experienced.

Well, we finally had some chunks of time to sit down and start our paperwork this weekend. It really isn't as daunting as it seems, it's just time consuming. I believe I can honestly say I've never answered so many questions about myself in my whole life. In the last two days, we've completed extensive autobiographies about ourselves, a five page paper filled with questions titled "Me as a Person", and a whole page of questions about how we feel about transracial/transcultural adoption. We've also made a big dent in our criminal background releases and financial backgrounds. I chatted with our doctor's office on Friday figuring out all we need to do for our medical checks. I also chatted today with our lawyer with OFA going over requirements for this step and the upcoming one. She was very encouraging as well.

Whew.

While I may have started the weekend nervous and overwhelmed, I'm feeling much better about it all. It actually is starting to fall into place and it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Now that is a bright spot!

2 Minute Glance

2010-03-04T23:01:00.003-05:00

Here is a really short (2 minute) video put together to show some of the need that exists in Congo. These next nine months can't go fast enough!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgViwIbVHZw&feature=player_embedded#

(Sorry...I don't know how to get the cute little Youtube video screen to show in my blog. I realize this is so old school...you'll actually have to click the link above!)

Bunnies for Congo

2010-03-03T21:45:00.006-05:00

Josh has been doing this really amazing art class the past three days. I will say that it was really intense, but so, so great. The man who teaches it is wonderful at what he does. He raises the bar very high and expects great effort, but is so encouraging at the same time. He just kept stressing that art is a learned skill and just takes a lot of practice.

I would say that historically art has not been Josh's strong suit (although he is only 6 1/2, so I don't want to write anything off at this point!) : ) He typically just doesn't want to spend the time doing it. But...he did so well over the past three days and really enjoyed it. The class ended today and he came home and just wanted to draw all afternoon. I love it!

Yesterday's homework was to draw a bunny and name it. There would be three prizes given for the best bunny with the most original name. Top prize was $50, which of course had all the kids excited. Now keep in mind that there were over 100 kids there, so odds of winning were slim, but they were still all abuzz about what they'd do with $50.

It was so precious to hear Josh's plan. He came home and said, "Mom, I've gotta win that prize. I need to send that money to Congo. *pause* Well, actually, I'll probably share it."

So I said, "Oh, you're going to keep half and send half to Congo?"

And he responded, "No. I'm going to send half to Congo, and half to Haiti."

Oh melt my dear mommy heart. Love that kid!

He had a purpose and got right to work. However, within 24.6 seconds, he was done. He had drawn a bunny that he decided to name Cow. I loved the irony for the name, but the picture? Well, here...you see...

I'll just say I tried to be as encouraging as I could. Bless his heart.

We were gone in the afternoon for the home study meeting and then ended up having dinner over at our neighbors' house, so it was almost bedtime when we got home. Uh oh. We had forgotten to finish Cow. He still needed to be colored. Josh decided, though, that he wasn't crazy about Cow the Bunny after all and wanted to try again.

He worked for awhile and tried a couple of different times, and here's what he came up with instead. Meet Jumping Jack the Bunny...(Just FYI, the writing above is the bunny's name, and his name and age. It's just hard to read.)

We were so proud of him! He spent a little more time on it, and this version was much better! We don't know yet who won the contest as we had to turn the bunnies in today, but I'm just proud that he wanted to do a good job. And I may be partial, but I think Jumping Jack the Bunny is kinda cute...um, especially when compared to Cow the Bunny. And if he somehow is lucky enough to win the $50, I know there will be people around the world who are blessed. All because of a little bunny in the grass.

Here's a few other pics of him in the class. Enjoy!

Diving In

2010-03-02T23:03:00.000-05:00

Whew. Well, we're on our way!

We had our first appointment with our home study provider this afternoon. With the word out that we're adopting and the paperwork in full swing, I'd say it's all definitely feeling more real now. A few days ago a friend asked me, "Do you feel pregnant? Because you are!" That was a sweet thing to say! : ) I really didn't at the time, but I'm starting to have moments where it feels that way!

We now have a whole list of forms to fill out, background checks to apply for, and TONS of information about ourselves to divulge. Honestly, there doesn't seem to be quite as much to fill out as we were afraid there could be, but it's still A LOT. Some of it seems silly, but some of it seems like it could be helpful. The lady we met with today talked a lot about preparing for an interracial adoption, and there's an entire form with questions preparing us for issues that could arise because of that. She also gave us TONS of material with books, websites, magazines, and classes for preparing for an adoption. I'll eat that stuff up. I can't wait to learn more!

But there's also parts I wish we could just skip over. I guess our state requires that every member of our family have a TB test. Yuck-o. Have they met my son? He will scream like a baby. Seriously. I'm really dreading that. And evidently we have to apply for new birth certificates and a new marriage license. You know, in case somehow the details of our births changed from the last time we ordered birth certificates.

The paperwork doesn't bother me. I just keep telling myself it's just like the grant applications I used to have to put together for work. I think the only thing I'm having a hard time with is not having a nice, neat, completely spelled out step-by-step process. We still have some questions about the timing of things, and the order that we should do things. If you know me, you know that I am a spreadsheet and list-maker, not to mention a rule follower. I just want to make sure we're doing the right things at the right times. I know we've got a great team of people who can help us through it all, but it's just not all spelled out the clearest.

Hubby was right...we're just going to have to dive on in. If we just start doing things, all the details will get worked out.

And I firmly believe that in the end, all of this paperwork will be worth it!!!

From Three to Five - Their Thoughts

2010-03-01T22:27:00.000-05:00

So I thought I'd finally check in with my three cuties and see what they're thinking about all of this excitement. While I felt like I could pretty accurately share their thoughts, I figured I better just check with them to make sure. Plus, it was a teaching moment. We learned what a journalist is and how they interview people to find out what's going on in the world. I put on my imaginary journalist hat and went to work. So you can follow along, each one of us is represented in a different color: Mommy, Josh (6), Sarah (4), and Megan (23 1/2 months).

So , I hear something big’s going on in your life. What is it?
Yep…it’s an adoption.

Can you tell me about it?
Well, I’m really excited because I have wanted a brother for a long time.
I’m so excited that we might get a girl.

But what if we get two brothers?

Then, Josh would have more brothers.

Well, you would too, silly. What do you think about that?

That’d be good. Then I can be happy with two good brothers. They’re going to be very good and have one toy at a time. (Can you tell we’ve been struggling with a messy house!?! They hear “one toy at a time” like a hundred times a day!) : )

Megan, what do you think about adopting two more kids?

Um, I want um um doptions. (Translation: I want adoptions. I kept asking her why, but all she’d say was because. Sorry, she’s still not two. That’s all you’ll get from her. She was more interested in playing babies.) : )

So what do you think about it, guys?
I’m excited to have a brother because I’ve really wanted a brother for a long time. I’m excited to share my toys and have another kid in our family, because I’ve always wanted to adopt a brother and sister and I just love having brothers and sisters. I’m used to a sister. I’d also like to take care of baby brothers because I like to play with boys. And I like to play with my sisters, too.
I think I’m happy. I want them here now.

Are you nervous about having new brothers or sisters?
NO! I’m happy.
No, I don’t feel nervous, because we’re going to have some new kids and I’m going to be happy. I’m so happy because I can see my brothers and if we’re going to get a sister, we can have another sister.
I’ll give lots of hugs and kisses, and I’ll ask to hold the baby.

And that's it, folks. Out of the mouths of babes. They're really excited about it all. When we first sat them down to tell them we were even considering this, Josh's comment was, "Well if there's babies who are hungry and who need mommies and daddies, why don't we go get one today?" Pretty cute. Wish it were that simple, buddy.

The other really telling thing to me is one of their new favorite things to play is adoption. I'll hear them in the other room saying that they're filling out paperwork to go get "their orphan."

We have to keep reminding them that once our children are ours, they're no longer orphans! (I can see it now...the five kids and me in Walmart a year from now. Josh and Sarah can respond to the curious public with, "they're our orphans.")

I can't wait for the amazing day when they go from being an orphan to being our son or daughter! And I'm glad my children are excited for that day, too!

Sidetracked

2010-02-27T22:12:00.003-05:00

So I know I still need to share the kids' response to all of this. I've told you I'd share and I will. They really are cute kids with awesome hearts.

But each time I sit down to write that post, another post just tugs at my heart. Only it's not mine. It's one that a new friend of mine whom I've not even met wrote.

The adoption community is a really awesome group of people with amazing hearts. I've added some links over on the right side of my page if you'd like to look around some of these great adoption blogs. Megan's blog is the one that I found that very first night we even learned about Congo and I was hooked. She's a great writer and I've loved following her journey to get their son. She just returned home one week ago from Congo and posted yesterday about what it was like to visit the orphanage in Kinshasa. It's that post that has me sidetracked. It's been on my heart for the last 24 hours.

I will warn you...it's not an easy post to read. But I hope you will anyways. It will trouble you. But, it's so easy when you know that there are 5 million children just like these who so desperately need help and hope to just dismiss them all, figuring there's no possible way to help the situation. But when I read it, my heart wonders if any of those faces I see are my children's. These could be OUR children's stories. These literally could be pictures of them.

Here is the post.

And after you read it, will you DO something to help? I don't have the answers about how to fix the problems in Congo, but I know of at least a few things we can each do to help:

1. Pray. Seriously, the problems in Congo are so severe that it seems that only God Almighty could fix them. We can't underestimate the power of prayer.

2. Support any families you may know who are adopting one of these children. Adoption is not an easy journey and much encouragement is needed throughout the application process, the wait, and certainly once the kiddos come home. We feel so blessed to have such a great network of support. Please know it's appreciated and needed! Some families are not so fortunate.

3. If you feel led to help financially, the not-for-profit that is helping us with our adoption not only helps kids find forever families, but also provides ongoing assistance to the children remaining in Congo. There's a link right on their homepage if you'd like to make a donation. Or, if the online giving thing isn't your thing, their contact information is right there, too.

I have to believe that together, and with God's help, we CAN make a difference.

So Really...Are We Crazy? Why 2!?!?

2010-02-26T00:32:00.003-05:00

Two? Really? So you'll have FIVE kids then? Are you crazy?

Whew. Breathe. Yes...really 2. And crazy? Maybe. : )

So here's the story at how we arrived at 2...

Anytime we ever talked about an interracial adoption, I would tell Hubby that I thought it would be cool if we adopted 2 so they wouldn't feel as singled out. And he would say to me, "Are you nuts? That's five kids!"

So these last few weeks as we've been feeling God leading us very specifically to Congo, he's the one who has been saying to me that he felt like God was leading him to two children instead of just one. And now that it was becoming a reality and not just something to dream about for the future, I was the one who wasn't so sure.

Five kids - three of whom would be 2 and under? How would I do my grocery shopping? Travel? Eat out? Watch all of their soccer games? Give my best to our homeschool? Will people still want to get together with us to hang out? I mean, there will be seven of us. That's a lot of people and a lot of mouths to feed. Will we ever have a moment of quiet again? Ever? Will we have enough money left over after we pay for this adoption and feed and clothe seven people for fun things? What will we drive? (We can't fit five car seats in our minivan.) And the questions and worries go on and on...

But here's the thing...All the reasons I had for not adopting two were purely selfish. I want to be comfortable. My flesh cries out that it should be about me. But it's so not. And in my heart, I don't want it to be.

God just slowly and graciously showed me that being a Christian isn't about being comfortable. It's about taking up my cross and following Him. And that's not something that is easy to do.

First, He showed me through scripture. Colossians 3:1-2 totally grabbed my attention one day while I was busy planning our vacations for the year. It says, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." It just dawned on me that while I'm worried about all of the things of the world, there are babies dying because there's no one to help.

He spoke to me through prayer, and as I slowly gave Him my fears and my worries, I felt Him telling me to just trust Him. "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

He even used some blogs to speak to me. Go figure! : ) I think the most powerful one and the one that resonated most to me was this one here. There's another amazing blog called the Journey which chronicles the life of a 21 year-old could be college co-ed who instead has devoted her life to following God, wherever He may lead. He happened to take her to Uganda. She has adopted 14 beautiful girls. Yes, 14. By herself. And did you catch that she's 21? Reading her blog definitely challenged me to look at my life and wonder if I'm living it for myself or for Him.

Now please don't read me wrong. I'm not saying that we all have to move overseas like this girl did. And I'm not saying that everyone should adopt two kids from Congo. These kind of decisions are responses to God's specific leading and take some serious prayer and consideration. I'm simply saying that God has really been teaching me a lot about what it means to really follow Christ. If we want to follow Him with all that we are and we're truly seeking His will, He's going to call us to things that are beyond ourselves. I mean, if we're only living life doing things we can accomplish on our own then we don't really need Him, do we?

We're feeling stretched here. If I told you otherwise, I'd be lying. But it's a good stretch. It's a stretch to get us beyond ourselves. Beyond focusing on the things of this world, and instead seeing things and people the way God sees them.

Is there something God is calling you to and you're scared because it will stretch you unlike anything else? Don't just say no. Seek Him. Cry out to Him. Trust Him.

You see, it will be a little crazy around here. This adoption will cost a lot of money. We will need a new vehicle. It will be harder to go on vacations and out to dinner. My days will be more hectic. And loud. But those are all earthly concerns. When we choose not to focus on those and instead focus on heavenly concerns, all we see are children who are hungry, and sick, and lonely. Children who need a forever family. Children who need to know there is a God who made them, knows them, loves them, and sent His son to die for them to save them.

And how can we put our own comfort above that? We can't. We choose not to.

So are we crazy? Maybe a little. : ) Crazy for God. Crazy about following Him.

Frequently Asked Questions

2010-02-25T00:45:00.003-05:00

Wow...we are floored by the support we're receiving! We have the best friends and family members in the world! Thank you so much for your prayers, encouragement, and genuine interest. It all means so much to us!

Since there has been so much interest, I thought I'd go ahead and address some of the most commonly asked questions...

What is the time frame?
The process is estimated to be about nine months. Hmm...know any other kids that take nine months to get home? We think it's pretty cool that it's about the same time God gives you to prepare for a biological child! While it could be as little as six months and as much as one year, we've been told that nine months is a safe bet.

Are we getting girls or boys or one of each?
We don't know for sure yet. We've asked for at least one boy.

How old will they be?
We don't know this for sure yet, either. We asked for at least one baby, which is really any child under 12 months. We are okay with the other one being up to age 2. We just want to make sure that we keep our birth order, so we don't want one to be older than Megan.

Will they be siblings?
Not necessarily. If there are siblings or even twins available, great, but they don't have to be.

Where are we at in the process?
Our initial application to Our Family Adoptions (OFA) was accepted last week. We submitted our initial application for our home study earlier this week. The home study process is estimated to take about 4-6 weeks and after that is complete, we will submit our i600A form to the US Government. That is our request that the government allow us to adopt a foreign-born child. It can take 3-4 months or more for an approval from them. They will send our approval to the national visa center and they will then send it on to the US Embassy in Kinshasa (the capital city in Congo). Meanwhile, we also submit our dossier (fancy name for documents required to process an adoption) to Congo and a lawyer over there represents us in their court system. After that, we wait for an interview date with the Embassy and then Hubby will travel to Congo to pick up our kiddos. Which leads me to...

Will you travel to Congo to get them?
Yes. But only Hubby. Because of the potential dangers of traveling to Congo, we feel like it's wisest for only one of us to travel there. He will be escorted by someone from OFA from the get go, and additional escorts will meet them on the ground in Kinshasa and be with them at all times. They will stay in a Methodist/Presbyterian hostel. And just for the record? It is killing me that I won't go. Even though I know it's best that I don't.

When will we get our referral? (Find out who our kids are?)
We don't know for sure. The amazing lady who runs OFA, has told us that she won't start looking for matches for us until after our home study is complete. Theoretically, at any point after that's done, we could find out who our kiddos are!

Any more questions? Keep 'em coming. We really don't mind! I know I still have other things to address, too, like what the kids think about all this, and why in the world we're adopting 2! And obviously, if you've read this far in our journey, you know I've no shortage for things to talk about. : )

Stay tuned!

Where From? Why There?

2010-02-25T00:15:00.003-05:00

I'm gonna be really ambitious and address both these questions in one post. : )

First question...where from?

The Democratic Republic of Congo (also known as Congo or DRC). It's right in the heart of Africa.

See why I didn't just have a post for only that question? It would have been like the shortest post in the history of short posts. So on to the bigger question....why Congo?

My previous post explained how we found out about it, but I really want to share with you some of the things I've learned about this very beautiful, but war-torn land and its resilient and courageous people.

Congo has the ability to become one of the wealthiest nations on the planet. There is an abundance of precious resources there - gold, diamonds, and coltan (a mineral used in cell phones). But militia groups kill, rape, and torture to have control of them. Over 5 MILLION people have died there since 1998. It's the worst war since World War 2, yet it has been largely ignored by the media and the western world.

And while it has the potential to be one of the richest nations on the planet, the people there live in deplorable conditions. Hundreds of thousands of them are living in refugee camps, because their villages are no longer even safe to inhabit.

The sexual violence against women is horrifying. Congo is one the worst places in the world for women. And kids? There are 5 MILLION orphans in Congo. Children only have a 4 in 10 chance to live to the age of 5. Hundreds, maybe even thousands, of innocent, precious little ones die each day to completely preventable diseases and malnutrition. There is no excuse for this.

Our desire for an adoption has always been to provide a home and forever family for a child who was in great need and didn't have another option. Our hearts are so burdened for the people of Congo. We feel like we have to do something. And while we can't fix the problem, we can do our part. We can provide a safe, loving, healthy forever family for two of them.

5,000,000 orphans...minus 2.

It's at least a start.

One thing we really love about the organization helping us with our adoption, Our Family Adoptions, is that they are absolutely committed to not only finding families for children in need, but also for caring for those who remain in Congo and for raising awareness about their situation.
Because the 4,999,998 remaining children are precious in God's eyes and deserve hope, too.

Why now?

2010-02-24T13:53:00.002-05:00

Well, like I mentioned previously, we've talked about adoption for several years now. Honestly, there was a time in my life when I wasn't interested in adoption for our family, but through the years God has really opened my eyes to the beauty of it.

All of our conversations about it, though, left us feeling completely overwhelmed. With so much need, how in the world do you know where to start? Domestic or international? If international, what country? How do you find an agency? How do you pay for it? We would usually come to the conclusion that if God wanted us to adopt, He could just place a child on our doorstep or have us cross paths with a woman considering an abortion or needing a family to adopt her baby. And He could do that. In fact, you never know if someday He doesn't do just that for us or for someone else!

A few weeks ago, some girlfriends and I went to see a movie and grab some yummy Starbucks for a Girls Night Out. I sat there explaining this very thing to them..."we feel led to it, but just don't know where or when or how...He'll just have to make it happen!" When I got home that night, Hubby was sound asleep and I couldn't sleep at all. (Thank you, decaf coffee!) So I went downstairs and got on Facebook (aka the biggest time eater of all time!) Well, this was also just after the Haiti earthquake. A friend of mine on Facebook had a status update that said something along the lines of "50 Haitian orphans will be in a city about an hour away by the end of the week and they need temporary and/or permanent homes. If you're able to help, contact me." Ohmygoodness, I couldn't sleep. Was this God placing an orphan on our doorstep???

I talked with Hubby early that next morning and we both agreed that we at least needed to look into it. So I made a few phone calls and essentially found that it was a dead end. There weren't going to be orphans coming after all.

Within a few days, though, we realized how disappointed we were. We really got ourselves excited thinking that an adoption really might happen! So at that point, we began investigating adoption more seriously. We sent off for and read cover to cover some information packets from adoption agencies. We sat through a webinar. We read ministry pamphlets about adoption. We talked with other adoptive families. Adoption was still very much on our hearts, yet we still did not feel called anywhere. We were back at the beginning and were quite discouraged.

Shortly thereafter, though, my church was having a girls get together. I wasn't sure I wanted to go because it had been one of those weeks where it seemed like we were hardly home. Hubby really encouraged me to go, though, and boy am I glad I did! While I was there I heard a friend talking about an adoption seminar at an agency I'd never heard of. She and her husband were going to go that very next night! She encouraged us to come along!

Well, that particular session was booked so we couldn't go, but I talked to her that night after she returned home. She told me about a particular country's adoption program - one that all the agencies I had looked at never mentioned. She shared some pictues of orphans and talked about the extreme need in that country.

It was practically immediate. Hubby and I both were in love. We just felt a calling to a certain place like we'd never felt before. Not that there's not need in other places; there certainly is! We just had never felt a pull in a specific direction before.

We couldn't sleep. Well, okay...I couldn't sleep. Hubby can fall asleep standing up. (Maybe not really, but close!) I stayed up for hours that first night researching online and reading blogs of other families who were adopting from this same place.

I found this picture and just couldn't get it out of my mind. It haunted me.

For days on end, we couldn't focus on our normal daily tasks. We were consumed and we felt giddy. It really felt like we were falling in love! That's the only thing I have to compare it to!

Because feelings can be misleading and because we wanted to be certain that this was God's idea and not ours, we've spent lots of time in prayer and discussion about whether or not this is right for our family. Without a doubt, we feel like this is where God is leading us. We are simply choosing to follow Him.

So that answers the why now question. Next up....where!?!? (Do I have you curious???)

Why Adoption?

2010-02-23T22:00:00.002-05:00

First, I'm sure we'll get this question, so I'll just go there...Is it because we can't have more biological children? No. We have no reason to suspect that we couldn't have more biological children.

So why adoption?

Why not?

Sorry, just had to say it. : )

I think the more we fall in love with God and the more we learn about His heart, the more we fall in love with the idea of adoption. The Bible is pretty clear how God feels about orphans:

"He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." - Deut. 10:18

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." - Psalm 68:5

"Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." - Isaiah 1:17

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" - Matt. 25:34-40

(And that doesn't even cover the fact that as Christians WE'VE been adopted by HIM and are now heirs to His kingdom! That's HUGE!!!)

Okay, maybe I started off a little smart with my response "why not," but really...why not? We have a home with room for more. We have hearts with room for more. And there are something like 140 MILLION orphans around the world just longing for forever families. I really can't even wrap my mind around that number. It's just too big and it makes me feel way too helpless.

But it gets a whole lot more personal when I stop to consider that there's one little child somewhere out there who is hungry and no one comes to feed him. He's scared and no one comforts him. He crawls into bed at night and no one snuggles him, prays with him, asks about his favorite part of his day, and tucks him in. He wakes up wondering if today is the day that he'll find a forever family, but no one comes.

Makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

Yes, I know that there are many great, great folks out there who give everything they have to make orphanages better and safer places, and they work their tails off trying to respond to the kids' needs. (And I already feel grateful for the beautiful souls working in our children's orphanage. They are true heroes to us!) But even the best orphanages in the world pale in comparison to the love that a child would feel in a family.

Kids belong in families. It's really that simple. And that is why we're adopting.

Stay tuned for the next post...Why now?

Some Excitement Around Here

2010-02-23T21:59:00.006-05:00

OK, I realize that my readership has dwindled to a handful of people. (Love you, Hubby, Mom, and whoever else stops in from time to time.) I also realize this is totally my fault. Who wants to check a blog day in and day out when I only update it every 3 to 6 months!?! Not me! (On a side note, that’s why I recommend subscribing to blogs you like, or using a service like bloglines.com.)

Well, I actually have news to report. After years of praying about something and wondering if it would be in God’s plan for us, we finally feel Him leading in very specific ways. So without further ado (drum roll, please….)

We are adopting!!!

And here's an even bigger surprise...not just one child, but two!!!

We are so. very. excited!!! We can’t wait to expand our family and will be using this blog more frequently to keep everyone updated through the process.

We already are blessed by so many who are so excited for us and want to hear every detail. We are so grateful for you and your support – and please know that we’re going to need it!! We hear we’re about to hop on a roller-coaster of highs and lows!

But we’re also sure that right away there are many questions…Why adoption? Why now? Where from? Why there? What’s the time frame? What do the kids think about this? Have you heard about the adopted kid who wouldn’t make eye contact with his parents (and other adoption nightmares)? Two more kids? Are you crazy?

And you know what? We are more than happy to share!

I’ll be spending the next few days (or sooner if I have enough free time) working through some of these questions. If you have any others, feel free to leave a comment and I’ll try to get to those, too.

But first, we’re just so excited. Yes, we are a little scared, too, but our overwhelming feeling is just sheer bliss. It already feels like two members of our family are missing in our home. We can’t wait to see who they are!!! : )

We have been so encouraged to read through other adoption blogs and hope to use this little spot on the web to not only share information about our journey, but to also encourage other families considering adoption and raise awareness about our new little ones' place of birth.

I hope you’ll start checking in again more frequently and celebrate with us during this amazing journey!!!

Whoo hooo!!!! It’s gonna be an awesome ride!!!

No Apologies and A New Year

2010-01-03T22:20:00.005-05:00

I'm always tempted to apologize for the length of time between blogging entries. But here's the thing....those of you who read this and who know me know that it just ain't. gonna. happen. So I'm not going to apologize this time. There. Whew. I feel better.

I'm just going to write when I feel like writing. And I'm not going to write when I don't feel like it or (more accurately) when it feels like a chore. Hopefully I'll be able to post a little more frequently than I have the last six months, but I can't promise anything.

Here's the basic gist of what you've missed...there have been so, so many blessings in my life over the last six months or so. Yes, some trials too, but God is good and is faithful through all of the ups and downs. (See, I told you it was the BASIC gist!)

As we start the new year (and after hubby and I celebrated our 11th anniversary yesterday), I am overwhelmed by God's goodness to me. I am not deserving of the blessings, but am so grateful. So, very grateful.

I'm not much of a resolution maker because I feel like those never seem to last, but I do stop and give thought to where I am in life and where I want to be. Do I want to be healthier? Sure. Do I want to accomplish more with each of my days and spend less time on the unimportant? You bet. Do I want to be a more patient, loving, and kind person? Absolutely. Do I want to get some amazing deals this year and lots of free stuff at CVS? Amen! : )

But I feel like all of those goals can be summed up in one thought. I want to know God more deeply and become more like Jesus this year. (Just so you know, any inkling of a career girl left in me after seven years as a stay-at-home mom is cringing at the fact that I am setting a "goal" with no measurable, quantitative objectives.) But that's what I have. That's what I want. I just want to be more like Him.

I want to think of others as greater than myself.

I want to think about things that true, noble, excellent, and praiseworthy.

I want to live without fear or worry.

I want to love unconditionally and purely.

I want to be the branch and not the vine.

I want to see others as God sees them.

I want to serve humbly.

I want to love God with all that I am.

I want to truly hunger and thirst after His Word.

Oh, and there's so much more, but you get the idea...

I'm grateful for another year of life and love, and I'm excited to see what bright spots God has in store for 2010.

So that's what's on my heart right now. See you back here sometime when I feel led to write again. Soon, I hope.

My Baseball Boy

2009-06-24T18:24:00.003-04:00

Last night was Josh's last t-ball game for the year. The Red Devils finished their season with no losses! Okay, maybe no wins either since they don't keep score, but I'm still a proud mama!

Josh did great this season. He seems to do a lot better in the sports that aren't as high contact. He had lots of fun, too, and is sad that he's all done until next year.

Since this is my blog and I am technically allowed to write whatever I'd like, I'm gonna brag on my boy for just a minute. At the end of the game, the coach passed out trophies and a prize bag for each of the boys and said something positive about each boy.

When he got to Josh, he said how well he'd done playing baseball, but then he said the part that really made me proud. He said that if he had a daughter the boys' age, he'd want her to marry Josh. We got compliments all season long about what a polite and kind boy Josh is, and as a mother I couldn't be more proud that the coach chose Josh's character to compliment last night.

Sure, I'd be proud if he were an all-star athlete, but I'm even more proud that he's an all-star person.

That's my boy!

It's Like Riding a Bike, Right?

2009-06-16T12:13:00.003-04:00

Somehow I've blinked and it's been almost three months since my last post.

How does that happen!?!

I really do miss the blog world. I used to read and write during my nursing periods with Megan and now that she's a big sippy cup drinker, I am having trouble finding the time in my day to sit at the computer. Somehow, kids need me, chores need me, and life beyond the monitor and keyboard needs me.

But still, I like connecting with friends and family through blogs, and I love looking back at the record I have of all the bright spots God has blessed me with.

So I'm hoping I can hop back on this bloggy bike and pick up where I left off. Hopefully some of you are still out there waiting to ride along with me!

Sweetness

2009-03-25T23:14:00.004-04:00

Such a sweet, sweet moment. So sweet that I had to, I mean had to come write it down. I just don't want to forget!

Megan is a little congested tonight and is having trouble sleeping. So I've listened to some whimpers off and on all night, but a little bit ago she just couldn't settle back down. After a couple of brief attempts to comfort her, I eventually had to go in and just pick her up to snuggle.

Oh. my. goodness.

I really don't think there's anything sweeter in all the world than a snuggly, sleepy baby. She just melted right into my arms and laid her sweet head on my shoulder. I just settled my cheek onto hers and whispered in her ear, "It's okay. Mommy's here." She was instantly calm.

It was like everything was just right with the world.

I didn't want to get up and leave! I snuggled with her a few more moments, took that time to pray for her a little, and laid her back in her bed.

So, so sweet. Thank you, God, for that tender moment with my precious baby. I want to remember the feel of her soft skin on my face forever! Amazing.

Remembering Life, Messy As It Is

2009-03-03T09:15:00.003-05:00

Oh, dear readers, I'm so sorry that I've once again left you hanging for weeks. Somehow life gets so busy and time just flies by. I've yet to learn the balancing act and figure out how to get it all done. Laundry piles up. Dust accumulates. Blogs go unwritten.

Yet, kids have been loved, school taught, relationships nurtured. I guess that's what is really important, right? Then why do I feel so guilty when the other things go untouched?

Caring for three small children and managing a home can seem so unglamorous at times, yet when I'm old and they're gone and the house is quiet, I know I'm going to miss it. I'm going to wonder, what were those days really like?

Well, one project I've been wanting to do for quite some time now is videotape a day in the life. But again, because laundry often sits around in piles and somehow my kitchen never stays clean for more than 10 minutes, I've been putting it off. Who wants to have caught on tape - forever - their messy house?

Today is different. Today I woke up and said, enough! Today, I'm just gonna bite the proverbial bullet and do it. So what if the house isn't perfect? That's how we live life a lot, so why not have our videotaped day be like that?

So today, every hour or so, I'll be checking in on our family via video camera. I know I won't get all the moments of our day that I cherish, but I'll get some. I'll be able to remember what ordinary, daily life was like when my kiddos were small.

And hopefully 30 years from now I'll look back and smile at the messy kitchen island, remembering instead all the great moments I had with my kids. That's what's important anyway, right?

Let the tapes roll.

Kisses

2009-02-08T21:20:00.001-05:00

Baby Megan has started giving kisses! She's so sweet! The only thing is, she skipped right past "normal" kissing, and went straight to the tongue. We're slightly worried, but hope to be able to break her of it before she's a teenager.

Oh, and the other thing? Her favorite person to kiss is her Daddy. Pretty cute.

And can I just say that this next picture totally cracks me up. I caught her in the middle of a blink. She's really not that into kissing.

It's just such a sweet blessing to see how much she loves her family - not only by her kisses, but just how she lights up in the morning when she sees her brother and her sister. Or how she just snuggles down into my shoulder or shrieks excitedly at her Daddy. She is so precious and we're so glad she's part of our family!

That Funny Josh

2009-02-05T07:00:00.002-05:00

During school the other day, Josh and I were reviewing ordinal numbers. We had a picture of an oval race track with six race cars going around. I asked him to point to the fourth car, the second car, etc.

Then, I asked him, "This guy right here is in last place and there's six cars racing. What do you call him?" (I'm, of course, looking for the answer, "sixth.")

Instead Josh said, "The loser."

We certainly had a good laugh at that one!

Clean Baby

2009-02-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

I just found this post saved as a draft from last July and it brought a smile to my face and I just couldn't hit delete. I hope it makes your day happy, too. And just for the record, she still looks just like this only bigger. Still no hair and still no teeth. : )

Planned to post on July 9, 2008 and just never got around to it...

If only you could have scratch and sniff online, because is there really anything that smells better in all the world?

That perfect mix of baby soap, baby lotion, and the God-given natural smell of a baby.

If I could bottle it up, I'd be a millionaire.

Warm Chocolate

2009-02-03T14:26:00.000-05:00

It's snowy here. Real snowy.

The kids are having a great time playing out in it. Josh was actually excited to hear that the groundhog saw his shadow. He's pumped that he gets six more weeks of winter to throw snowballs at Daddy! (His words, not mine!)

Here they are lookin' all cute getting ready to play outside...

But the best part of playing outside in the snow is, of course, the hot chocolate you get when you come in! We've had our fair share of hot chocolate this winter, but Sarah never wants to have any. She says, "It's too hot...ow!"

So instead, I heat hers up just a little and call it warm chocolate. She's much happier this way. And it's so funny to hear her come in from outside and say, "Brrr, Mommy, I'm cold. Can I please have some warm chocolate?" (As if it's really a drink!) Too funny!

Enjoy your warm chocolate, girl! You're too cute!

The Glove

2009-02-02T17:01:00.009-05:00

We were just having one of those days today.

Major meltdowns over wardrobe choices, food choices, story choices, you name it. Children less than thrilled to obey their mommy. Children more than happy to boss around and fight with each other.

Ugh.

I knew the problem was a simple lack of sleep, as we were out late for a Super Bowl party last night, but still! While I was doing my best to portray patience and love on the outside, on the inside I was going crazy.

That's when I came upon the glove.

It was a simple pink glove (left in the middle of the kitchen floor, of course) that helped my inside to better match my outside...

It's the sign for "I Love You" in American Sign Language. And I think it was a gift from God.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
-1 Peter 4:8

It was just laying there as a gentle reminder that even when my kids are driving me crazy, I really do love them so incredibly much. And they love me, too.

I wish I could tell you that everything got much better around here, but I did still have three sleepy kids. The difference was in me. I wasn't quite so frustrated. And that helped me to just approach things so much better. No, the kids weren't allowed to get away with disobedience, because they need to learn how to behave even when they don't feel like it, but our home exuded love today and not impatience.

I'd say it was a good day.

Thanks, God, for the reminder from a glove.

Works for Me Wednesdays - Getting Paint out of Carpet

2009-01-28T06:00:00.001-05:00

Yeah, ask me how I know this one.

We’re in the middle of several painting projects, and they’re not going so smoothly. I normally love painting, but lately? Not so much.

We are painting our dining room a rusty reddish-orangish color. Like my technical description? It’s actually called Paprika, but you just need to know that it’s a dark red color. And of course, the carpet in there is a light beige.

It was almost midnight and I had one more little area to go when the dreaded mistake happened. When I went to refill my brush, it fell out of my hands and landed smack-dab in the middle of our dining room. On the cream colored carpet. It was one of those slow motion moments where you know it’s happening and you can’t do anything to stop it.

Now, I must point out that we were not painting recklessly. We had plastic drop cloths down all around the room, but of course the one spot I dropped my brush had nothing underneath it.

But guess what? Here’s my tip to share…

If you take approximately 1 teaspoon of dishwasher detergent (I used Cascade) and mix it with 1 C. of warm water, it will take all your paint stains out! It takes awhile, but just keep blotting until all the paint is gone. Just be sure to work from the outside in, so you don’t spread the color further.

Red paint on the cream carpet? Completely gone! This worked so well for me that even I can’t tell where the paint was. And that’s a bright spot that I just had to share!

Wake Up Calls

2009-01-26T21:11:00.002-05:00

In the perfect world, I would get up each morning before my children awake. I'd have time to grab a shower, start my day in God's Word, visit with hubby a little before he leaves for work, and maybe even get a few chores done before the little ones get up.

Most mornings?

My alarm goes off in the morning and I hit snooze several times until either
a. Josh crawls in bed with me or
b. Sarah starts yelling through the monitor, "Mooooommmmy, I'm awake!"

But the other morning?

It was a Saturday and my mom was here, sleeping in Josh's room in his trundle bed. (Enjoying her great accommodations, I'm sure...meanwhile, my dad was at the Hyatt Regency for a conference.) Hubby was already gone to a basketball game and I woke up all on my own.

For whatever reason, when Sarah woke up she didn't call for me. Instead she sat in her bed and sang all sorts of songs. The Itsy-Bitsy Spider. The song from Sleeping Beauty. The song from Land Before Time X. The Wonderful Cross. Even another worship song she must have learned at church, because I didn't know it.

It was so very cute and such a great way to start my morning.

And while I was enjoying my concert through the monitor, my mom was snuggling in bed with Josh. She even said to me that she thought of this blog because that was such a bright spot for her.

I thought it was pretty cool that before 8:00 a.m., we both enjoyed some bright spots. And knowing that I am definitely not a morning person, this makes the bright spot all the better.

If only I could start every day that way!

Our Wild and Crazy Saturday Night

2009-01-24T23:08:00.003-05:00

You know, nothing makes for a better Saturday night than deciding to paint a two-story entryway which leads to a stairwell and an upstairs hallway.

Yeah. What were we thinking?

Well, we actually were pretty smart, if I do say so myself. My dad had a conference in town this weekend and my mom decided to come along and hang with us for a couple of days. Our thinking was that it'd be much, much easier to paint all that if there was another adult around to keep an eye on the kiddos for us.

And oh my goodness, I can't imagine undertaking this project without her help. So, mom, THANK YOU!!!!!!

Here. You can see for yourself. These are all of our entryway. Obviously, we had some serious whiteness going on that desperately needed some color therapy.

Have you been blinded by the white yet? (And yes, that is a basketball goal right by our front door.)

Well, we the good news is we got started today. The bad news is that halfway through, we realized we once again had a terrible streaking problem. (We got three coats into the dining room a couple of weeks ago and gave up after such terrible streaking. We'll have to fix that soon...)

Let me stop here and show you more pics. Here is the halfway through shot...

And here, look closely....see the streaking? Ugh...

So now, we've decided to follow the advice given by all those professional painters. We got primer.

We've spent the last couple of hours priming our walls and over the next few days, we hope to finish up with the paint – hopefully without streaking.

I do admit, this hasn't been the most fun, but I do normally love painting very much, and I really can't wait to have it all finished! I think it will be quite beautiful.

And definitely much more welcoming than all the white!

Don't you think?

Hold On to the Lasts

2009-01-14T11:04:00.002-05:00

Have you ever read the children's book by Karen Kingsbury, Let Me Hold You Longer?

It's a beautiful story about cherishing the lasts with our kids. No one needs a book to remind you to celebrate all the firsts - first roll, first steps, first words, and so on. But the lasts? Somewhere along the way, your kids stop doing special things and you don't often even notice until you look back and say, "huh...haven't gotten to fill in the blank for awhile now."

Well, yesterday I may have had a last with Josh and I'm cherishing it in my mommy heart.

He actually fell asleep during his rest time. Yes, he'll be six soon. And yes, he does still sometimes take a nap.

Sarah, my sweet 3 year old, on the other hand? Hardly ever. She sings and plays and needs to go to the bathroom 800 times during her rest time.

Anyways...it got to be rather late in the afternoon, so I went up to wake him up so he'd still sleep at night. I went in his room and softly kissed him and told him it was awfully late and he could get up and go play. He literally popped up out of bed and walked over to his door. Then, he turned around and muttered something to me. I have no idea what he said as he certainly wasn't speaking English.

This is the good part...

Then, he came over and snuggled into my lap and curled up in a ball and went back to sleep. In my arms. All snuggled and warm.

Oh, sweet mommy moment.

It's not too often you get to snuggle with a sleepy kindergartner. It is quite likely I may never again have a moment with him like that. And so today, my bright spot is noticing and cherishing this precious last with my son.

Life goes by so fast. I don't want to wish it away, and I never want to take it for granted! Thank you, Karen, for reminding me to celebrate the lasts, as well as the firsts.

Ten Years Ago Today

2009-01-02T16:25:00.005-05:00

Ten years ago today, I woke up absolutely giddy with excitement.

Just a few moments later, though, my mom was in my room saying, "We need to talk."

Apparently, 18 inches of snow fell overnight and getting around town was more than difficult to do. Not to mention, that there were orders from local authority that if you were on the roads for any reason other than an emergency, you would be fined.

This poses just a slight problem when it's your wedding day!

But alas, (did I just say alas?)...no need to be upset. I seriously didn't freak out about any of it! I just called my sweet soon-to-be-husband at the hotel and asked him to go door to door and tell our guests who were staying there to just head to the church - we'd figure it out from there!

I tell you what - no one who was part of our wedding that day will ever forget it! Everyone chipped in and made sure we were able to have our special day! Friends with vehicles that were able to brave the weather headed to pick up grandparents or the grocery store to get the staples - you know, meat trays, cheese trays, champagne. (Did I mention that we couldn't have our reception as planned, and had to throw together an impromptu one in the church basement?) Hubby's uncles used their trucks to dig out the snow plow (yeah, I'm not kidding!) and clear off the church parking lot as best as they could.

All in all, it was an amazingly special day. I don't think anything could have wiped the grin off my face. Our goal was to become husband and wife, and that was achieved.

10 years ago today, I married my best friend.

And the last ten years have been filled with many, many happy memories. Three beautiful children, some amazing vacations, new homes, new jobs, lots of great times together. Yes, some troubles too, but those have only brought us closer together.

Today, 10 years after that beautiful (yet very snowy) day, I am more in love with him than ever before.

And I can't wait to see what the next ten years (and beyond!) bring.

Enjoying the Break

2008-12-30T15:24:00.002-05:00

Ahh...it's so nice to be on break! We had a great Christmas and I hope you all did, too!

Hubby was home from work for 5 1/2 days and we loved just having some downtime as a family. We celebrated Christmas with my side of the family Christmas Eve day and again on Christmas morning and had so much fun! (We spent the previous weekend with Hubby's side of the family and had a blast there, too!) After that, though, it was just the five of us. Doing a lot of relaxing, playing with new toys, and enjoying each other.

Well, plus the puking.

Josh and Sarah either caught a little bit of a bug or just ate one too many cookies...either of which are complete possibilities. They just didn't seem quite like themselves for a couple of days. But for the most part, it didn't interfere with any of our celebrating. The only time it was bad was when Josh threw up on the letters to Santa. Of all the places he could have thrown up! I thought Sarah was going to lose it, she was so sad.

In all seriousness, we had a great time celebrating Jesus' birthday and making lots of great family memories...

Josh pumping his fists by his side and saying "Yes!" on every present he opened
Sarah requesting the "ax" song while singing Christmas carols around our tree on Christmas Eve (what we finally figured out she was wanting was Angels We Have Heard on High...you know Gloria...in "ax"celsis deo.)
Megan squealing and waving her arms with excitement at her family
Playing lots and lots of Wii and Connect Four

I'm just so grateful for my family! We're taking the rest of this week off of school, and enjoying a little more down time before it's back to business next Monday.

Ugh...that just doesn't sound right!

I guess I'll just focus on being grateful for the down time we do have, for the job that Hubby has, and that we all actually like to be together! Those are all definite bright spots!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T20:16:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas! I hope it is a special day for you to celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Merry, merry Christmas!!

A New Tradition

2008-12-18T09:55:00.000-05:00

We started a new Christmas tradition this year! I don't remember where Hubby got the idea, but he thought it would be fun if each year at Christmas time, we spent a night in sleeping bags around the Christmas tree.

The kids were so excited!

Well, Josh and Sarah were. Megan was too little, so she had to still go to bed in her crib.

We let them stay up a little late to watch a Charlie Brown Christmas movie on TV and then we tucked them all in and shared some of our favorite Christmas memories before heading to bed.

In all truthfulness, the storytelling ended around 9:30 when Josh said, "I'm tired. Can we just go to sleep?"

Too funny.

So we all settled in our sleeping bags for a good night's sleep. On the hard floor. Okay, maybe not the best night's sleep, but a lot of fun.

Any guesses on who was the first one asleep?

I had one squirmy, snuggly, love bug on one side of me and another squirmy, snuggly, love bug on the other side of me. It wasn't me. It wasn't said squirmy, snuggly love bugs Josh or Sarah.

It was hubby.

But we were all soon behind him. And we actually slept fairly well. The kids, in fact, didn't wake up until 8:30!

I'd say it was a success and we'll do it again next year!

What about you? Any fun or different traditions your family has at Christmastime?

A visit with Santa

2008-12-16T22:39:00.003-05:00

My kids love our annual outing to see Santa.

Yeah, they get a little nervous about it - especially Sarah, but there's just something magical about sitting on that jolly guy's lap and sharing their desires for new toys.

This year their requests seem to be based on whatever is on a commercial or in a sale flyer. There just hasn't been that one thing they just have to have. I don't have a problem with that, except that I don't really want them having the "gimmies."

You know...I want this, I want that...I want this, I want that...

So before we left to visit Santa I tried to work with them to come up with something that they really wanted, so they didn't just ask Santa for a candy cane because that's what was hanging next to him.

We practiced a ton of times. Sarah wanted a Barbie or a Sleeping Beauty doll, but it had to have a pink comb. Josh still changed his mind every time I asked. He really thought he wanted a Kota My Triceratops, but that's a lot of money for something that says its for ages 3 -5 and he turns six in a couple of months.

So we met Daddy at The Children's Museum for a special midday treat and waited in line to see Santa. When they get up there, Josh looked at Santa and said, "Do you still have Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?"

Santa answered that yes, he did, and that he would need his help if the weather is bad on Christmas Eve. Then Santa went on for awhile about how scientists figured out exactly how long he had to stop at each house (I think he said .42 milliseconds?) and how he would really need Rudolph's help, but that he had some extra help, too, by changing time zones. He kinda lost the kids in the explanation and then when he asked what they wanted for Christmas, all our practicing was forgotten.

Josh said he wanted a "stand up gun", and Sarah thought and thought and finally said she wanted a castle "like that one over there" and pointed across the room.

Kids.

Cute, cute kids.

Hopefully Santa can find them just what they want.

Good luck, dude!

Cute Glasses

2008-12-04T01:16:00.002-05:00

Since I missed a couple of weeks of blogging, I never got to share a picture of Sarah in her new glasses.

So, without further ado, here she is....

Her world is so much brighter now! We've even had comments from people that she seems more outgoing. Poor little lady just couldn't see!

We love you, "Sis!" You are so stinkin' cute!!

The truth behind the quiet home

2008-12-03T11:03:00.005-05:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. I hope you all did, too!

I have so much to be thankful for - my family, my friends, my health, my home, and my salvation, for starters.

This morning I'm thankful for quiet.

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love homeschooling. I love having the first-row seat to see Josh learn and grasp new concepts. I love being there to watch him read something for the first time. I love watching him and Sarah become the best of friends. I could go on and on...

But I also love that we're part of a co-op where every three to four weeks, I get two hours to myself. I don't have to teach. I don't have to do childcare. I get a day off. All three of my kiddos are at co-op, and I'm not.

Sometimes I run a bazillion errands - you know, the kind where you have to run in somewhere for 30 seconds to grab one thing. Yeah, the kind that aren't fun to do with three kids in tow.

Today I opted to return home and have two hours of quiet to do my own stuff. I've downloaded and organized all my pictures from the last 6 months. I've done two loads of laundry. I've updated facebook. I've blogged.

Wanna know a secret? I say it's quiet, but truthfully, the whole time Christmas music has been blasting through my speakers.

I love it.

Because nothing says "Welcome home, Honey!" quite like this...

2008-11-23T23:00:00.007-05:00

Lovely, I know. Poor little Megan ralphed all over herself, me, and the kitchen floor seconds before we were expecting hubby home on Friday after work.

Normally when he comes home on Fridays, we all meet him and cheer, "It's the weekend!!!" This Friday, I said, "You get her. I'll get me. Then we'll get the floor."

Yum.

Not really a bright spot, but kinda funny.

At least now, anyways.

Have you missed me?

2008-11-21T16:23:00.002-05:00

I've missed you all! Sorry I've been so quiet lately. It's been a crazy couple of weeks around our house. Some good, some not so good, but always something keeping life exciting!

So I'm debating....

Do I catch you all up on the last few weeks, or do I just pick up here and go on? I suppose that's why they say bloggers should keep posts going on a regular basis! Maybe I'll just give a bulleted list of events and then pick up where we are for the next post. Yeah. That sounds good.

Highlights of the past few weeks:

Sarah got her glasses and she looks adorable! She is doing great with them and we have had no problem getting her to wear them! Right after she put them on, she looked at me and said, "Mommy, why do your teeth have slobber on them?" Apparently, she had never noticed that mouths are moist! Too funny that when she first gets to see the world well, that's her comment.
Megan is doing great, as well. Just as we were thinking we should maybe call the doctor and think about getting a First Steps evaluation, she started sitting up great and bearing weight on her legs. Her little personality is also just shining through. She is a total ham. She grins her gummy grin at us and loves especially to watch us dance.
Not much new is going on with Josh, but after bullet points for Sarah and Megan, I feel like I should keep it balanced and fair. Josh is doing great, too. He's doing really well with school and is reading everything he gets his hand on! Hubby and I are getting much more proficient at pig Latin when we're trying to communicate without him knowing what we're talking about! The days of spelling things are long gone.
So much has been going on in the world with politics and economics and I feel like I'm learning so much more about it every day. While I could say A LOT about it all, I don't feel like going there on my blog (at least at this point), but will rather just say that God is in control. We need to be praying for our new President, our leaders, and our country as a whole.
And I debated whether or not to go here, too, but...remember my post about my sick day? Well, after more than three weeks of recurring health issues, I eventually headed to the doctor and he ordered some blood work. The combination of my random symptoms and the results of my blood work pointed to something quite scary. I don't know that I've ever felt the way I felt after I got those results. A few tears were shed. Okay, a lot of tears were shed. My doctor encouraged me not to panic, though, and ordered a re-test after two weeks. Talk about the longest wait of my life! I've been feeling much better the last couple of weeks and those second round of tests came back much better, too. I'm currently in a four-week wait for another check. Right now, it appears that everything should be okay, praise God! I have done a lot of growing through all of this, though, and have learned not to take anything for granted. Most importantly, I've learned just how important it is to have a strong foundation in Christ so that when (not if!) the storms come, there is strength, peace, and hope.

Okay, since this is a blog about bright spots, I wanted to end with some more happy bullet points! : )

My husband is awesome. My mom and dad stopped by our house on their way through town to babysit and we got to have a date night! We may be going on ten years of marriage, but I still have so much fun with this man and enjoy his company very much. I loved having a quiet dinner with him and also enjoyed watching a movie together. (Although, on a side note...when did movies get so stinkin' expensive!?! $19.50 for 2 tickets to a movie!?!? I know, I know....I'm so cheap!) The movie, Fireproof, was so worth it, though, and I'd encourage all married couples to watch it!!
We painted our bathroom! I want to have it feel like I'm on vacation, so we painted it a turquoise kind of color like the ocean. I was explaining this to my friends, and they thought I was kidding. I'm so not. I have three kids, people! I could use a little tropical vacation at the end of each day! : ) I'm going for a "classy tropical" look. I don't want it looking all Jimmy Buffetish. I found a little palm tree that I love. And I also found some placemats at Pier 1 that are made out of like a bamboo or something and I'm going to attempt to make window treatments out of them. Wish me luck. I am so not Martha Stewart! I'm still looking for some great photography or art of beach scenes (I'd especially like a sunset). If you have any suggestions on how to help turn my bathroom into a tropical getaway, please post a comment! : )

And that, folks, is a nutshell of my life the past couple of weeks. Thanks for hanging in here and for continuing to check in on me even when I am not good about regular posts! I must say, though, it feels good to be blogging again!

Through the Blurry Eyes of a Child

2008-10-23T15:12:00.007-04:00

It's a pretty safe bet that anytime we're in the car going anywhere Sarah will say something along the lines of "Look at the beautiful word (translate: world) God made!"

She just loves the beauty of the trees, sky, even the local Kroger. I'm not kidding. It's just so stinkin' cute.

Well, today we found out that her vision is absolutely terrible. I mean terrible. It's worse than mine (and I am blind as a bat without my contacts or glasses!) I didn't see what the final prescription was, but it was somewhere around -7.00 in each eye! In the words of the doctor, "This is not normal. Nearsightedness normally starts in early elementary kids and progressively worsens." He did assure me, though, that she looks healthy and it appears to just be nearsightedness, and nothing more serious. We have a follow-up appointment scheduled in about two months and then we'll determine whether or not she needs to see a specialist.

Okay, so on to finding the bright spots in all of this....I have two.

First, Sarah reminds me how important it is just to celebrate with our imperfect bodies our perfect Creator God. How amazing is it that despite her apparent inability to see much of anything, she still sees His beauty in this world, and with such ease! I am reminded that we need to continually seek out the bright spots from the blur and mess of the world we see. Truly inspiring.

And second, I am so grateful for good medical care. I'm saddened to know that her vision is so poor, especially at such a young age, but I'm so grateful that it's been caught and that we can get her the help she needs.

Along those lines, though, could you just pray for her? Pray for her vision to not get progressively worse. (Our fear is that if it's this bad now, what will it be like as an adult?) Also, pray that there is nothing more serious causing these vision troubles. And can I just be real with you? I'm struggling with what she'll look like. I'm afraid the glasses will be quite thick and she is just such a cutie pie. I know it's silly, but I'm just bein' real...

(While you're praying for Sarah, please lift up a few for Megan, too. We're a little concerned about her development. I'll post more on that later to fill you in, but she just doesn't like to roll, sit up, or bear weight on her legs.)

As a parent, you just want the very best for your kids! Thanks for caring about ours, and for your prayers!

It's Happening!

2008-10-22T16:17:00.003-04:00

I am totally turning into my mom.

Josh just ran outside to play with his buddies and I yelled to him, "Have fun...and be good!" Do you know how many times I have heard that in my life? : )

Isn't it funny how the little things our parents do slowly turn into the little things we do?

Why Are Babies Immune?

2008-10-15T16:25:00.003-04:00

It's one of the most contagious things ever. Yet babies don't seem to catch it. At least my baby doesn't.

What am I talking about?

A yawn.

I've noticed on several occasions that if I yawn at Megan, she just looks at me and grins. Not even a slight yawn back.

How can this be?

Is it because babies sleep so much, they just don't have any sleepies left in them? Or is it just my baby and not other ones. I'm going to have to do an experiment and see if I can find a baby who will yawn back.

What about you? Have you ever noticed this, too, or do the babies in your life yawn back at you?

Adoption Changes

2008-10-12T21:41:00.002-04:00

Some really great friends of ours have been waiting for almost two years now to adopt their daughter from China. They just got news on Friday that could greatly affect their ability to successfully complete the adoption process.

I don't really understand it all, but there's been some governmental changes on the US side and there's been a change in the form that's required for your background check. They're making everyone switch to the new one, even though Congress stated that anyone already involved in the adoption process should be grandfathered in. The new one costs significantly more and takes up to 6 months to process. Bottom line is this will require more money, a longer wait, and worst case scenario...if our friends' referral comes up before the new paperwork has been processed, they could lose their little girl and would have to start the entire process over (could take 4 YEARS or more!!!)

This is incredibly unfair and breaks my heart to think that beurocracy over paperwork could harm my friends' (and others like them) chance of becoming parents to the beautiful children around the world who need their mommies and daddies.

Here's where you come in. Could you please take just a moment to sign this petition? I guess they're trying to get as many signatures as possible before the 16th of October...

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/adoption-for-all.html

If you want to forward it on to others who support adoption, that'd be great, too. And most importantly, would you please say a prayer for our friends? God IS still in control, and He can and will be there with them through all this.

Thanks so much.